Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Men VS Women and Sue McGleno's Ice Cream Cone

I don't know, maybe it was a little over a year ago.

I took Sue McGleno to Omaha to visit my daughter, granddaughter and the clan that my kid married into.

As a father you are always happy to see your children, but when you have to cross vast rural landscapes to get there, and end up on unfamiliar turf....

That goes against a "real guys" internal compass.

Men and women are different, maybe you haven't noticed,often times our travel techniques, food purchasing and spending patterns can be launched from different universes.

Now we're standing in the progressive part of Omaha. This is where all the "Culinary Forward" concepts are happening.

It's summer, it's hot, bugs are screeching all high pitched like they do in biblical plagues while Klecko peels his sweaty T-shirt from his torso.

Then maybe the only thing that could eclipse that noise echo's out throughout the town sqaure.........

that's right, its Sue McGleno, and God has given her a mission...

"I spy Ice Cream!!!!!!"

So our pack crosses the cobblestone and makes their way into the ice cream parlor. The joint is air conditioned and I am tempted to hand the staff the entire contents of my wallet if they will kick out my family, but let me stay lol.

All across the walls are posters and banners declaring that this place has the #1 ice creams in Omaha as voted by whatever the local cities food rag is.

The women from our group start throwing elbows like an NBA center trying to pull down a rebound. Its as if somebody told them that only one person could stare into the 50 foot long ice cream case at a time, but nobody did.

Sue McGleno asks me once, twice, thrice as to what flavor I am going to get, whether or not I'll opt for a waffle cone, and what size will it be?

Now the bickering starts between my wife and daughter as to what flavor(s) they should get, and the whole process of them asking for freebie tastes on those tiny weeny plastic sample spoons starts.

After what seem to be a lifetime, Sue McGleno reaches across the counter to reel in her cone like a 6 year old grabs a Christmas present wrapped in Snoopy wrapping paper.

Sue McGleno has just purchased a Cherry-Mango-Nutted Ectasy Cone with some kind of Passion Fruit compote on top.

And me?

I ordered the same cone that I have ordered since kindergarten. A Vanilla 2 scoop in the sugar cone.

Thats why I find it hard to believe that Sue McGleno continues to ask me time after time, after time, after............

When men find a food they like, either they are extremely loyal, or the worlds biggest wusses, because a "Guy" will stick with that flavor or concept till he goes to the grave.

Why wouldn't he? He knows its served him well in the past.

I have pointed out on more than one occasion to Sue McGleno that when she trys new culinary concepts, it appears that she is dissapointed (which leads to her becoming an angry woman lol) about 75% of the time.

That's when she chimes in that I should shut up because if she was practical, she sure wouldn't have married me.

Good point I guess, but I don't don't critisize my little muffin to antagonize her. I do it for the same reason that I would yell at my kids when they danced around running chain saws, or played "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" on a cliffs edge.

Yes, Sue McGleno is that dissipointed when a culinary love dissapoints.

I ended up paying about $700 for my crews Ice cream cones, and the lot of us stumbled back onto the street.

Our family looked like dogs lapping water in Egypt, the temperture was so hot that our cones began melting like wicked witches.

Spending my lifes savings was almost worth it. for the first time that day everybody was silent. You could almost feel some kind of bliss penetrating the heat blast.

But then I looked up at Sue McGleno, her eyes were all Basset Houndish. Her tongue was moving slow. It was'nt keeping up with the pace of the melting.

When you've worshipped somebody long enough in this world, you can read their thoughts, and if something is bothering them, you don't even need to ask questions.

So being a "Guy", I walked over and extended my arm.

Sue McGleno didn't even offer up an obligatory "Are you sure?"

No, she just snatched that Vanilla cone from my hand and replaced it with her jilted choice knowing very well that I was simply going to disguard it.

Girls are weird, but I really do like them.

Out of curiosity, does this story line up with any of your families or friends experiences, or is my family just that bizarre?



  1. Hmmmm, conflicted here. I am with Sue McGleno in trying new flavors (and the general letdown that is a fact of life) but I also adore a classic vanilla. If I can't make up my mind because there's too many choices, vanilla it is. I've never liked chocolate ice cream, but a 'meh' vanilla is way better than just about any other flavor.

  2. I'm with you kid, chocolate ice cream is so EZ to overdo,if you want chocolate....place it behind peppermint, but of itself.....it is the Judas of ice creams LOL

  3. I'm kind of a spice of life variety girl, but last year I tried the "if it ain't broke" guy version of eating, and I've been perpetually happy w my food choices since. I know what I like at certain places, I get those items consistently and it's been a good food streak, I don't find I'm missing out on anything. It's fascinating seeing that comment coming from me, but I also noted in the past id never join a gym either, and I'm really enjoying that as well. Yeah, I used to expend a lot of energy scoping out food choices, maybe it was sort of like the thrill of shopping, but that's played out for me right now too. What's my point? You're family is cool. We do what we do till we don't, but then technically we still do, but then it depends on your point of view bc I'm thinking, we really essentially don't.

  4. We are a family that doesn't go off the beaten path much. We tend to stick to the same flavors.
    Funny though, when I do take a chance to try something new, Gene is usually there to bail me
    out, only he usually enjoys my new concoctions more than I.

  5. JNO - "We do what we do till we don't"....I love that quote. I could either steal it from you, your give you a couple loaves of bread in return for me stealing it somewhere down the road LOL.

    Laura...seriously, mean Gene is Mr Adventure huh?

  6. Our family is a lot like yours. My father who was a baker/chef instructor, always ordered NY Vanilla
    ice cream. Anything with Chocolate is fine with me.

  7. i need to tell you the pineapple sundae story! but there is no room here. it will resonate.

    and my dad used to buy vanilla cones and just eat the ice cream and throw the cone away. even while the stem was still packed with ice cream!

    that always killed me as a kid. every single time.

  8. Laurie, my step dad "Whiskey Willie" did the same thing, only he gave the ice cream filled stem to our Malamute Sasha.