Monday, March 4, 2013

Hello Kitty - Baking with Siberian Cats


I have a friend named Sandy who lives in New York.

The 2 of us have much in common........

We both have worked in bakeries -

We both are quite attractive -

We both enjoy the company of animals -

Although Sandy and I have much in common...............

She would be considered a "Cat Woman"

While I might be classified as  "Dog Boy"

Anyways, today she sent me a blog link from...what was it called?????


Anyways, before I start my mad-capped tale, let me defer to my friend first.

3-2-1 and........................

Investigators say a woman picked up a kitchen knife in a fit of rage and desperation to stop her husband from killing a cat she wanted to keep after it came to the couple’s farm in need of a new home.

Russian news agency RIA Novosti reports today that a 56 year old woman in East Siberia’s Buryatia republic is under investigation for allegedly killing her husband after he threatened the life of her cat.
Investigators said woman and her husband “drank alcohol together, and then started arguing over the cat, which had moved to their livestock farm in the republic’s Zakamensky district after its owner from a nearby farm died.”
According to the story, the woman wanted to keep the cat but the husband did not like it and kept trying to scare it away. During the argument, he picked up a rake with the intent of killing the cat.
“In a move to protect the animal, the woman seized the rake from his hands and then snatched a knife from the table in a fit of rage, and stabbed the man three times in the chest,” a spokesman for the Investigative Committee said.
The woman may face up to 15 years in jail if convicted of murder, but the charge could be downgraded to manslaughter if she is determined to have acted in the heat of passion.
These are the only details on the incident and the case that are readily available at this time.
The case is reminiscent of that of the Texas woman who shot and wounded her husband last September after the man threatened to shoot her cat during an early morning argument. See  Texas Woman Shoots Husband to Protect Cat.

-   the end   -

I'm not gonna even try to one up this story.

How can a guy upstage a moment where a Russian woman wields a rake and a knife?

But let me tell you about the first night I spent in the Siberian Arctic.

I flew from Minneapolis to Atlanta -

From Atlanta I flew to Moscow.

I was given a room in a hotel that was reported to be owned by the mafia, I don't know how true that is....but I am grateful for mob hospitality.

I was allowed to sleep for 4-5 hours, then I was taken back to the airport and shuttled to Novosibirsk.

This city is the center point of Russia.

Like Moscow, I was given a room for several hours, and when my alarm went off, I headed to a tiny airport that put me in a plane that looked like a tennis ball canister and then catapulted me to Polarny.

The airport in Polarny was the size of a Nike shoe box.

From there they put me on a truck, and for hours i drove into the north...............

Into the white nights.................

Into the diamond city of Aikhal.

When I got there, it was close to midnight there time, but the sun was high in the sky, as if it were noontime in Vegas.

My hosts were wide awake.

People in the Arctic often lose concept of time.

I was so-so-so worn out.

But I brought Jack Daniel's and they had Vodka..........

When the bottles managed to empty themselves, I was escorted to a hut.

This dwelling was interesting, because it was basically walls with a roof and located across from a pig barn.

Oink-Oink-Oink goes the pigs............

As Klecko's head swims is delirium.

It must have been 3:30 a.m., I had to be up for work in 3 1/2 hours, and the sun was pounding through my make shift windows.

Just when I had one foot into the land of slumber, and the other dragging behind in an intoxicated stupor......

A warm sensation engulfed my left hand.

It was warm -

It was wet -

and although I was tempted to just sleep through it, I opened my eyes......

Only to find a cat straddling my hand -
Squatting over my hand -

Let me tell you, there may be no worse odor on God's green earth, that the mixture of vodka breath and cat piss.

Although I was in a somewhat state of grogginess, I did almost laugh as I ushered this Russian feline out of my domicile.  

The next morning, I went into the business office, sat down and put my head on a swivel. I was looking for my interpreter, but she hadn't showed up yet.

There was 2 women in this office, and they viewed my presence almost as unlikely as hanging out with a martian.

But they were kind.

They gave me tea.

And for the better part of 45 minutes we exchanged stories by pantomiming.

Eventually I acted out the story of the cat pissing on my hand.

The woman HOWLED with laughter.

Klecko goes to work -

Klecko goes to sleep -

I think it was 1:30 a.m. when I heard a mob going at it.

I peeked out of my hut, and there stood Sasha my body guard, with his back turned to me, right arm raised high in the he shook a dangling - dead cat. My cat, or rather.....the cat that peed on me.

The town workers were in an uproar.

People were screaming, I swear to Caesar, these people resembled one of those mobs that bum-rushed the castle of Dr. Frankenstein.

My interpreter was not present.

I was drunk from jet lag

Drunk from Sumegone (Russian Moonshine).

I was very upset that Sasha killed the cat, but even w/o an interpreter, I got his message loud and clear.

He was sending a message to this group of ruffians that if any slight accident happened to the "Americone", there would be hell to pay.

The world is a crazy place people, and if you ever find yourself a stranger in a strange land, keep your head low, and never second guess your body guard.

In closing, I want to state that my heart truly goes out to the cat's mentioned in this story, and the people that loved them.

Cats really are majestic creatures aren't they?  


  1. You are the only living soul who could tell a story in which a cat ends up dead and still make me laugh. <3