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Monday, January 30, 2012

Pickle Bread Recipe

As the Polish Christ once said....towards the end of the crucifixtion.....

"It is Finished."

However, the thing that I (and Hennessy) have completed will not bring eternal salvation.....but it may warm your soul.

Hennessy and Klecko have mastered PICKLE BREAD.

We haven't merely produced it....we have MASTERED it!!!!

Some people may enjoy the sense of accomplishment when they formulate a masterpiece by themselves, but Klecko always likes crossing the finish line with an intresting companion.

Hennessy and I spent the better part of a week gathering ingredients, running sample batches, and critiquing our wares with editorial eyes and discerning palates.

Very few things worthy praise come out perfect the first time, and even though the both of us knew that.....we rode an emotional roller coaster for over a week.

I'm not going to give you Klecko's "Master" Bread Formula,but I will help you with the most difficult part...the pickle brine (which Hennessy lovingly reffered to as the Witches Brew)

1 Gallon Plain Vinegar
15 Cups Sugar
3 Cups Salt
4 Oz dill Seed
4 Oz Brown Mustard Seed
3 TBSP Whole Pepper Corn
2 Pinch Crushed Red Pepper
2 TBSP Crushed Ginger
2 TBSP Mace

All this get placed into your witches cauldron (or sauce pan) and placed over high heat.

I like to stir fairly often.

Our objective is it to boil this down, to reduce as much of the liquid possible.

This recipe is either double, or quadruple of what most home enthusiasts might want to attempt, so feel free to break this recipe down to a size of your liking.

The process will take at least an hour, maybe longer depending on your heat source, but once the liquid level has dropped, and the viscosity has thickened, let the "Brew" cool down, then put it in a Tupperware and plop it in your fridge.

I would let this Pickle Brine set for at least 24 hours.

A day later, when you remove it.......Yikes, it is going to smell rank, and that is putting it kindly.

You can use this Pickle Sludge is any hearty bread recipe.

I would just use the Pickle Brine for 20% of the liquid that your recipe calls for, and then I'd use water for the other 80%.

You will want to TRIPLE (yep...triple) your yeast levels.

This Pickle Brine will give a standard portion of yeast a heart attack.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess a guy could use some Vital Wheat Gluten if they want as well.

This Brine should produce enough flavor to sell the "Pickle" concept....however, Hennessy and I add fresh dill and dried onions into the remix.

I almost always like to add fresh onion into my bread, but truth be told....this is a sensitive medium. I don't want to increase my chances for disaster by adding any more wetness or acidic content.

Good luck with this L.A.B. Rats, and I'm just thinking out loud here....but wouldn't this make a killer Hamburger bun?

End Of Tranmission


  1. It sounds better than it has any right to! (a non pickle eater)

    1. I NEVER-EVER-EVER met a non pickle eater!

    2. I was, until I met my wife; I was about 25 then. She converted me. And to eating olives. And a few other things. I took her to the lands of Single Malt, Hot, and Non-European food.

    3. htom, I too wasn't converted to olives until I hit my 30's.

  2. "This Pickle Brine will give a standard portion of yeast a heart attack." this is good to know.

    1. Klecko is concerned about the health of all yeast cells. It's a Pollack thing I guess.

  3. 'Truly I tell you, whatever you do for one of the yeast of these, you do for me.'