Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Seating Protocal On Romantic Dates

Is racial diversity a good thing?

I'm guessing most of you would answer "Yes!"

But I've always felt that diversity is at its best when there is no majority, or minority.

Concepts,events and situations where demographics are split down the middle are the best.

For instance, my son Tydas went to an elementry shcool were the student body was very equal.

It was composed of African Americans, Caucasians, Asians and Hispanic kids and each group pretty much represented 25% of the student body.

This set up was great because when you are within a system of equality, it really doesn't seem nessesary to define things that are irrelevant.

Tydus never saw a need to tell me if he was hanging with a white kid, or a black were simply kids.

This is a beautiful concept in theory, but there just are not that many scenarios that I have run into where all groups of the globe come to meet in equal numbers.

Well.....maybe I'll take that back......

There is the Perkins on University Avenue.

At my house, we have a rule that on your birthday, the whole family will join you at a restaurant of your own choosing.

KiKi always picks Bucca, Sue McGleno is Cantina La Cucaracha, Me (and my son in law J.R.) are Glockenspiel, and the family baby Tydus is Perkins, the Perkins on University Avenue, home of his coveted "Tangler" burger.

If we sat in the parking lot of this particular Perkins, and I put a gun to your head and asked......

"When we enter that restaurant, what group of people will have the most people dining tonight?"

You'd be hard pressed to answer.

The place is like a Happy Bible Post Card, you know...the the one's where Jesus is in that next Earth Age, kicking it in Eden.

In that picture he's always surrounded by a black,white, yellow and red kid, 1/2 are boys and the other 1/2 are girls and more often than not....the Saviour is holding a happy lamb.

As a matter of fact, now days, often times...they'll even add the a kid in a wheel chair in that post card.i think I saw it at the State Fair.

Everybody is welcome in the Jesus-Eden postcard, just as everybody is welcome at the Perkins on University Avenue.

So there I am, Sue McGleno and me. We are about to go futon shopping, but she thought it would be best to start the "date" at Perkins.

Men can be such idiot's. To many guys, they would have framed this moment as....

"The day I had to miss the first three quarters of the AFC playoff finals, just to find some futon for my wifes sewing room."

Klecko knows better, he knows that if he is going to be a good husband, he really needs to go to this...and act as if he even cares.

Many times wives honestly could care less if their husband cares, but they sure are hopeful that he will at least fake it...I so get it.

That's why anytime I go out to do chores that most might consider droll....if I am with Sue is a DATE!

When you enter a restaurant with a woman, they often times are wired to believe that sitting across from their love interest is the most romantic seating arrangement....not even close.

Side by Side is the way to go.

Side by Side is what will eventually drive girls "perfume commercial" mad.

You see, throughout the course of the day, we sit across from all sorts of people....clients, work mates, teachers, and sometimes just plain jerks!

But "Side by Side" denotes choice, it requires intamacy,but most of all it requires comprimise.

When you sit next to a woman and share items off the same plate, you'll have to cordinate a system.

Dining is something that most people do within their own invisible box, but the moment somebody enters that's amazing how unnerving it can be, or the tension that this innocent formality can cause.

That's correct...tension, and tension my friends can be wonderful or disastrous, it all depends on how the tension will be released.

From my experiance...tension usually ends in a 2 day fight, or butterfly kisses LOL.

"But Klecko....does it matter who sits where in the "Side by Side? Does the woman sit on the inside or the outside of the booth?"

Amazingly enough.....when I've polled woman on this question, most say that it is more romantic when they (the woman) sit on the inside, while their date sits on the outside.

I hate to tell the majority of a gender that they are wrong but....LOL, sorry.

In the long run, the woman will find the guy sexier (if not less creepy) if he forfiets the outside and takes the inside.

C'mon...we're family now right? How many of you woman, as girls had that poster? You know exactly which one I'm talikng about.......

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn' never was."

Or something like that.

Why would a woman want some lout pinning them into the corner. A woman should always-always-always be seated next to a "Red Carpet" of retreat.

A woman shouldn't have it in her mind, even if it's just a 1/2% that her exit may have to be negotiated.

Klecko doesn't know much about much.....

but if it's baking, dogs, scriptures or owe it to yourself to at least ponder his musings.

Did I ever tell you about the girl who held my hands for 7 seconds at the Bulldog NorthEast?

Maybe next time.

Klecko - Out

Oh always....comments and opinions are welcome.


  1. This is super sweet K. Love it! I'm not a fan of Perkins but I have been to that location. I am totally with you on the side by side. Thank you for another wonderful post.

    1. Tami....I would never doubt that you fully understood the nuance of love.

  2. Always sat across. How else do I exit in a hurry to protect her?