I think, you think, or if not you others.....
That people who have a large amount of tattoo's across their body are screaming for attention.
I think I would have disagreed with that 24 hours ago, but then I got in a conversation with Capitol Cities Rebel Poet Mike Finley.
He told me that the legendary poet/writer Oscar Wilde always walked around carrying a flower, and he always made certain that he had one in hand, clutched tightly to his breast whenever he read his work(s) publicly.
When I asked why??? It was explained to me that Mr. Wilde struggled with his sexuality, not so much that he was gay, but maybe he didn't want to have angry minds beating him for a life style that wasn't received with the same level of respect as it is today.
But with that said.....everybody knew Wilde liked boys, and he knew... that they knew, so according to Finley......the flower acted as a buffer, it was like maybe he was making a joke on his terms to avoid the horrible comments that would have most certainly been tossed in his direction.
Maybe that's why I get tattoo's I guess, to be honest....I really haven't thought to hard about it.
But I guess in my own "Klecko Way" going to the tattoo shop is kinda like going to church or confession.
You can mock me as much as you like, and truth be told...I wouldn't blame you, but sitting in the chair and getting drilled is me...being in my element of comfort.
It's like therapy.
So this morning, I woke up early, and had the day off so I decided to stop at the coffee shop and get a depth charge, and then head over to the gym to pray for your souls while running on that blasted treadmill.
OK, I'm at the coffee shop, standing in line, and I'm wearing Lebron gym shorts and a T-Shirt that has the sleeves hacked off.
The coffee shop is busy, busier than I like, but I decided to stand in line anyway.
In front of me is a guy, and the guy, I want to say he was "rotund", but he wasn't...he was fat.
And this fat guy was clean shaven bald, wore wire rimmed glasses, and dude was also sporting a bright orange pair of Croc's.
Tick-Tock went the clock, and the line crawled, and crawled even slower.
During this waiting period, I would catch "Guy" staring at me out of the corner of his eye.
This was the same "sideways" stare that 60 year old men would give me, just before they offered me sex when I hitch hiked across America in 1980.
The line obviously wasn't going to dent soon, so my "friend" struck up the courage to ask....
"What does $87 mean?
Daddio was looking at my newest tattoo, so new in fact that it is still raw and pissed off looking.
If you have a lot of tattoo's you'll get this, if you don't...you might not, but when your body is covered with art work, sometimes you enjoy discussing your ink, but other times you simply don't, you feel as if you have to defend it.
I didn't want to defend anything this morning.
Klecko responded....
"Jack Kerouac had eighty seven dollars in his checking account when he died."
The fat man squinted with a face that resembled an animated hippo....
"Who is Kerouac?" he asked.
O-M-G....I just crawled out of bed, and now I just know its just gonna be one of those days.
So I gave the man a history lesson and hoped me being cordial would put a clamp on his curiosity.
It didn't.
The "Guy" looked at my left bicep, the one covered with Ronald Reagan's portrait and said.......
I see you have a tattoo of the worst person that ever lived in America.
Although I was stunned at this guys lack of social filter I responded be telling his to shut his ******* mouth, and to get away from me, a second warning wasn't going to be issued.
I almost never swear in business or at people I have never met.
I do use bad words on occasion, but I would be the first to admit....swearing is a sign of stupidity in my book, and yes...by definition, I am stupid.
The guy looked shocked, he stepped back and then explained.....
"Hey I make 285 thousand dollars a year, so it would be in my best interest to vote Republican,but I do the right thing....I vote Democrat."
You could see the smoke floating out of my ears, I did the stop and count to 10 thing....but I only made it to 4 before blurting out.....
"How on earth can a person make $285 000 dollars annually, and not know who Kerouac is, and show up in florescent Crocs?"
Some of our line mates heard this comment and started to laugh, and my moment began to spiral.
You guys should know by now that Klecko is glad when he can say he's sorry, it means that there is closure on conflict. That is always the best solution.
But right or wrong, I like Ronald Reagan, he is my guy, and I just didn't feel like I should have been put into that position when all I wanted was coffee.
I'll have to admit, by the time I got to the gym. I ended up praying for my soul...not yours.
In no certain order....welcome to the Klecko Tattoo Inventory
#1 Woody Woodpecker (Left Shoulder Blade)
This was my first tat ever, I got it at the old Rainbow Tattoo on Rice Street back when only bikers tatted. Back then, there was only 3 tattoo parlors in the Twin Towns, now there's more like 300. Back in those days, it wasn't like getting a tattoo from Kat Von "D" on L.A. Ink. you weren't allowed to bring in a portrait of a dead relative and whine while the artist inked your tribute. Back then everything was "Flash".
Flash is basically a series of pre drawn pictures that the artist already had, basically stencils. I liked the Woody Woodpecker image because Woody was fun, not smart...but clever, and in this picture, he was p-i-s-s-e-d.
#2 Skull / Top Hat (Left Shoulder)
When your first tattoo is fun, the second one better be a "Bad Boy" tat or the boys in the hood will tromp your a**. I got this one at ACME
#3 Skeleton Popping Out of a Jack in the Box (Outside-Left Calve)
I got this one down in Newport with my friend Brutus, he knew a guy named Papa Mike, I forget what the shops name was, but it only lasted a summer. This tat also qualifies as "Bad Boy" and is "Black Art) which is the practice of using different shades of black and gray. That was like 1986ish, and back then..in the TC's, you didn't see many leg tats, but my calves were as big as fire hydrants...and my vanity wanted you to notice.
#4 Angry Rabbit / Top Hat (Right Shoulder)
This was done at Mystic Moon Tattoo and that shop (along with Condom Kingdom) sponsored mine and Brutus's grunge magic show. This tat brings back memories of sadness as well. On the night I got it, I had a gig at the Mirage (a Metal head bar) and that was the night ownership changed their mind at pulled us off as the opening act for the Dio show.
#5 Saint Faustina (Right Thigh)
when I broke into the baking big leagues, most bakers came from the army....or prison. Either way, both camps had an ample amount of tattoo's. Baking was very ethnic in those days as well, you baked with people of your own blood line, and many bakers selected a saint from their camp. Faustina wasn't the first female saint canonized in the new millennium...she was the first human being. That's how much JP2 loved her.
She was/is the pride of Poland. During the 30's-40's she was a Nun, and she was smoking hot and the ugly Nuns hated her, so they forced her into the kitchen and made her bake bread.
Faustina was thought to be mentally unstable, but in fact....the only-only-only thing she wanted from life was to love God and serve God.
She died tragically from lung issues and her "Saint Day" is always the Sunday that follows Easter.
I once found her prayer card when I was in Moscow's Red Square, I took it as a sign.
Good looking, Pollack, bread baker and crazy....who else does that remind you of?
#6 5/23 (Back of Neck)
On May 23rd, 2002 my son Tydus hit his first home run. He was 9 years old, and he hit it off of Tommy Bockman (Joe Mauers cousin) and it was our teams first home run of the new season. If you could of seen his expression when he crossed home plate.....I mean if I were in a P.O.W. camp, this would be one of the few images I would lock into my minds vault.
We won the game and went home that night, and I'll never forget. I called Domino's pizza and told the guy on the other line......
"My son hit his first home run ever...a monster shot, give us a pepperoni pie and heavy on the pepperoni.
In less than 30 minutes, I swear to Polish Christ....when I flipped the cardboard box open....you couldn't see cheese or sauce, Pizza man completely-completely covered the top as if it was one pepperoni.
To this day, Tydus will call me each may 23rd, on home run day and say...."PaPa, mother won't be buying me anything for the celebration...but you can if you like.
#7 KIKI / Star (Right Shoulder Top)
As you can imagine, after getting one kid tatted, the next come kid must get done. I tatted Kiki in a star (Starr being her middle name) and it is purple, cuz that was her favorite color and it has her September 22nd birthday date. For those of you who delve into "Middle Earth"...that means Kiki shares a birthday with both Bilbo and Frodo Baggins.
#8 Susie (Left Bicep)
Its Old English script and it's black lettering. The artist at Fluid Ink informed me...."Its never smart to get your bit**** name inked, what if she dumps you?"
I assured him it would be OK and if fate had us splitting, I'd simply get a dog and name it Susie within minutes of the break up. Artist guy laughed, and said he'd have to remember that one.
#9 Ronald Reagan (Left Bicep)
This tattoo is actually famous. The Huffington Post ran an issue of the worst political tattoo's...EVER, and even though their was stick people jumping out of the burning Twin Towers buildings, Lincolns portrait with a bullet hole in his skull, George W acting as Dracula and sinking vampire fangs into the Statue of Liberty's neck.....the readership voted my tat, the 40th American president as the most offensive.
You should actually run a Google search on that.
Maybe one of my top ten life highlights was riding the subways through Moscow in the spring, T-Shirt sleeve rolled up, and every Ivan in the transport grinning at Ronnie's mug.
#10 Family-Heart (Right Calve - Inside)
Inside of the calve hurts much worst than outside. I remember I had this chick named "Cat" tatting me at Fluid Ink. I called her on a Friday at 2 p.m. and said I'll be in at 6 for a TAT. She asked what I wanted, and I responded anything w/o Satan...and then I hung up. She did my Reagan tat, kinda knew me and therefore decided to draw a heart, but not a Valentines heart, but a body heart and in the middle of it was the word "FAMILY".
She said her perception of me was I was a "Family Guy".
I hope she was correct.
#11 Gracie (Right Bicep - Inside)
Gracie is my Sheltie / American Eskimo mix. somebody once told me that was the mix that the circus used for their "Dancing Dogs"...you know, the ones that stood up and ran pranced around in ballet skirts. Gracie went to agility classes when she was little and angered the instructor when her time topped the instructors best...LOL
#12 P-Nut (Left Bicep - Inside)
P-Nut by law (or certificate) was born Peanut Van Halen and is the Pack Alpha at 1311. she is a wire coat Jack Russell and would take a bullet for me...but nobody else. Klecko has always been a fan of such qualities.
#13 Romeo (Right Bicep - Back)
The thing that's different about Romeo's tribute is that his name is placed inside a bone, but the bone also has spider webs on it, as if to denote Romeo's demise, but actually the red spider web was just a signature of "Cat's" tattoo's during her "Fluid Ink" years. Romeo is the smooth coat Jack Russell, brother to Peanut...same dad, different mother, and this skid-dish mutt has smitten Sue McGleno like no other living creature ever has. She carries him in a swaddling cloth as if he were the Christ child.
#14 Chili Davis (Left Calve - Back)
Chili Davis was a Miniature Schnauzer that made a career out of hating me. As you can imagine, my young children and their mother loved nothing better than have their "Childhood Dog" hate their father. If anybody in the family called, he ran to them and plopped onto his back so he could receive belly rubs, when I called his name....he just flipped me the paw. To get me good...one last time, he died of a breathing disorder at 3:13 a.m. on July 8th 2003, the morning of my 40th birthday.
Even though he hated me. I loved him, because my family worshiped him and I was thankful for that.
It was raining like a siv when I brought him in on that fatal night/morning, and when the vet sunk the needle....he was gone....POW, just like that. Chili Davis slumped dead and I began to howl. I stood in the parking lot, in the pouring rain howling. It sounds horrible to say this, but it hurt worse than when my father died.
The vet people must have thought I was something, cuz they sent me info on where I could get professional help to grieve my loss.
So on the back of my leg is a big tattoo of that mutt framed by a stain glass window.....now that I look at it....my heart is breaking.
#15 Johnny Cash (Right Calve Inside)
On the day Johnny Cash died...I called up Cat, told her it was me, I didn't even have to say what I wanted. she just asked what time. When I showed up, there was a vertical guitar with banners and floral stuff. It says R.I.P. Johnny Cash and gives his birth and death date.
This tat might have the widest range of fans of all of my tats....teenage girls to old men....they all respect this tattoo.
#15 Spy VS Spy / White Bird with Bomb (Right Chest)
It is traditional to get birds tatted on the left and right sides of your chest, towards the top.
Keeping with the tradition, I chose the "Good Bird" from Mad Magazines Spy VS. Spy.
Breaking tradition, I never followed though and got the Black Bird.
#16 Deedle-Deedle Chihuahua (Right Bicep - Center)
Inside of a heart you will find the torso portrait of my black chihuahua Deedle-Deedle (A.K.A. Bud, Meatball,Chico, Frito) I voted against him living with us, and with that said mas familia vetoed me. Deedle-Deedle moved in....he was very sick, almost dead, and I dropped 2 or 3 mortgage payments on him, and nursed him around the clock for over a month.
That dog knows I saved him and he shows me his gratitude everyday.
Danny Klecko has never once laid down to go to sleep.....but every time he wakes up....Deedle-Deedle is with him.
I love this dog more than my children...just ask them.
#17 Japanese Writing for Baseball / Left Elbow
#18 Russian Propaganda Poster #1 "Peace-Bread-Land" (Left Forearm - Inside)
Forearms are like "Boardwalk" real estate in tattoo terms, and I had a poster that was placed over the time clock in the bakery I worked at in Siberia placed on my primo spot.. It says Peace-Bread-Land, the mantra of the Bolsheviks,and it also has a hot-tough looking Russian woman who looks sexy and militant. And yes.....the #1 focus spot on my body contains a Hammer & Sickle. I guess you could call that a commitment huh?
This tat was done by Sarah, she took over my work after Cat got fired. Sarah came to Fluid Ink by the way of Sex World.
Sex World is an adult store that sells "Stuff" and "Experiences" and Sarah has told me more *Blush* stories than I care to remember.
#19 Russian Propaganda Poster #2 (Right Forearm - Inside)
Basically a lot like #1, but this one has a dude instead of a woman, and the scene was inspired by a picture I brought back from Sochi (by the Black Sea) in 2007 when everybody was working on the Olympic bid.
#20 ISBN (Right Forearm - Elbow to Wrist)
An ISBN is like a license plate for a book. Every published book has one, and they are sent to Library of congress. Back in the day they were 8 or 9 digits, but my book "K-9 Nation - Baking For My Best Friend" (MHS PRESS) had a 13 digit ISBN.
I got this tat at Trust Fate from Jason Walstrom who has gone on to do more tats for me than anyone.
#21 #52 (Left Arm - Over Wrist)
This was Tydus's high school football number. My son was the Captain of the Highland Park Scots, and they ended up winning the city championship his senior year.
#22 Madison Rose (Left Calve - Inside)
When my Granddaughter was born, I got a baby bottle crossing a rattle with her name....Madison Rose. The main colors are light blue and pink. Tydus wondered if anybody would give me grief over the color selection. I responded..."Grow Up!, and if they do....I'll crush their skull."
#23 Dutch Girl (Right Leg - Over Ankle)
I have a girlfriend from Holland who married a close friend of mine. They had kids together and were married for 23 years. Their kids were 13 and 10 the day I stopped over to their house and she had packed her bags to move away. She went to Florida and moved in with another man.
I cried really hard because I love this woman very much, and I didn't know what to do.
So I just got a tattoo.
#24 Lucky 13 (Left Leg - Outside over Ankle)
When Kansas City Bob's Dad got cancer, he moved back home to be with him. Kansas City Bob has a Hillary 08 tat, and a Buffy the Vampire one too. But his father spent 3 bucks and got the old Sailor Jerry arched black cat over the number 13 during the Korean war. When Kansas City Bob's dad passed away. People from the Food Industry also got this tat and sent it to Bob's Facebook wall to show their sympathy.
#25 King Kong - (BACK)
This is not only my Mona Lisa, but Jason Walstrom's as well. It took 12 0r 13 appointments over 1 year in a half. The tat started at the Trust Fate shop and moved over to the NorthEast Tattoo shop where he is currently working.
The outline took 6 hours. At the end of that session I was in so much pain I was trying to do Jedi Mind tricks.
The monkey is bigger than a month old baby and every-every-every single monkey hair was etched in....one little line at a time....Father, hear our prayers.
This was my pinnacle tattoo experience, and on the day it was done......I felt a great sense of relief.
But I think Jason was even happier it was over.
I didn't run a tally, but it was around 2 grand.
#26 #58 (Right Forearm - Above Wrist)
This was Tydus's College Football number. He played linebacker for 1 year for Luther, a D3 school in Decorah Iowa.
#27 Augsburg Eagle (Right Wrist - (Inside Forearm - Above Wrist)
Kiki went to college here and graduated with a business degree. The day I saw her toss that square cap into the air...it might of been the proudest day of my life.
#28 Muhammad Ali (Right Calve - Back)
Ali is the greatest that ever was-is, or will be. I went to the first Ali VS. Frazier fight at the old Met where the North Stars played with my old man. It was on satellite and pa burnt his second ticket on a second grade boy instead of a date. My tat is the image of Ali standing over Sonny Liston in 1961.
#29 Finley & Kerouac (Left Fore Arm - Top - Over Wrist)
Mike Finley and Jack Kerouac are simply the 2 most talented American Poet/Writers that I have read. I wear this tattoo with pride. Most times when I write, when I'm at the point that every column or poem gets to, when you look back at yourself and ask...."Is this my voice?" That's when I look at this tattoo and it tells me to not be a coward and just throw fireballs.
#30 Poets Are Lame (Right Elbow - Back)
One time my publicist Alison Aten was talking to me about some evening poetry reading and wondered if I was going. I responded...."Poets are lame." and she laughed and said she's by me lunch once a month for a year if I tattooed that. 2 day later I was doing a story on "Mojo Monkey Donuts" and next to there shop was West 7th Tattoo. Needless to say.....the bet was over.
#31 KIKI (Left Forearm - Outside - Top)
One day my daughter called me and told me she was sad. My Kiki complains less than anybody in our family. I knew she was driving up from Omaha in 4 days...so I ran to the Tat Shop and had Jason put her name in big letters across my arm. When she walked into the house, she looked...saw it, and smiled really big.
#32 Merry Christmas Tanaya Jade (Left Forearm - Outside)
Of all my 700 Facebook friends, I get along best with Tanaya Jade. Many people assume I like her because she is smoking hot, sure...that doesn't hurt, but even more than that....I like her quick wit, clever mind and ability to be vulnerable without being needy or dramatic.
So I walked into the Tat shop and told Jason I wanted to get a "Merry Christmas Tanaya Jade" tattoo with a Holly accent. He asked why? I told him that when he was done....he would take a picture of it, and put it on her Facebook wall in New Zeland. All 4 of the artists in the shop got big-big smiles and hovered over my arm.
The crew was so stoked, when I pulled out my wallet...Jason told me to "F" off, this one was free and Merry Christmas.
This may of been my favorite gift I've ever given to anybody.
When some people heard about this, they chastised me and said I was crazy to do this for a woman I never met.
I laughed, agreed I might be crazy, but you don't have to meet somebody to know them. I've communicated with "T.J." every other day for years......
I'm mad about her.
#33 Nurse & Rose (Right Forearm - Outside)
This was more flash art from Walstrom, he loved this piece, it has some weird name, but basically it pays tribute to the nurses that dragged the soldiers of the battle fields of WW1. A guy can never go wrong with pretty girl tattoo's, just ask Axel Rose.
#34 Stag - (Right Bicep - Back)
More Walstrom flash art. This Deer torso has a wreath like deal around its neck, basically it kinda looks like the image on the Jagermeister bottle.
#35 $87 (Right Forearm - Inside -Under Elbow)
This is how much money Kerouac had in his checking account when he died, I got it on what would have been his 90th birthday.....and this brings this posting back to the beginning, full circle.
From here on out......if I get more tattoo's, I will use this as my Ink Vault......because doesn't everybody want to know what's on Klecko's body?
#36 Cry Baby (inside left wrist)
My Tattoo guy Jason Walstom became a man today and opened his own shop. It's called Sea Wolf Tattoo Company and is located in South Minneapolis, kaddy corner from Matt's Bar (Home of the Juicy Lucy). Anyway, I figured I really needed to stop by and pay my respects, almost like a mafia thing LOL, I figured there could be 50 people there, or zero. If a crowd was there, I'd wave hi, letting "My Guy" know I was representing, and then duck out. If the shop was empty....well I guess I'd get some ink. I got there moments after they opened, and Jason had peeps in there, family, well wishers, but nobody was in the chair. I could see my buddy wondering if I was visiting, or spending. I hopped in the chair, told him to pick out anything he pleased, and my boy just laughed and stenciled a cry baby. It's a flash piece, and Jason said he'd been waiting forever for somebody to let him do it.
Congrats Brah!
#37 Torch / forearm- Left Bicep
So while Jason was tattooing me on the first day of the shop, his employee MiMi sat at her station waiting patiently for her first client at this new location. The shop was running a $50 special if you picked certain flash art pieces of the "Sailor Board". It was still early in the day, but I wondered....how bad would it suck if MiMi got shut out on her first day. While Jason bandaged me up, I asked the kid if she wanted to have a go. MiMi totally got that it was a "Sympathy Tat", but hey...a tat is a tat huh? During our session, 4 of her friends came in. One of them was going to get some work done after I was out. BTW....MiMi has a big light up accordion hanging over her work station, chick isn't a poser....she actually plays.
#38 Cartoon Wolf / Back Left Bicep
My boy Jason finally became a man, and opened his new tattoo shop. It is called Sea Wolf Tattoo Company and is located in South Mpls kaddy corner from the Matt's Bar where they sell those Juicy Lucy's.
The theme of his shop is kinda nautical, after all, it is named after the Jack London book (Sea Wolf)
So I went in and had Jason ink my arm so I could billboard for his vision.
It says SEA WOLF TATTOO COMPANY, and underneath the banner of letter is that cartoon wolf from those cartoons in the 40's or 50's. He was in a dozen different cartoon concepts, but he was always causing mayhem.
#38 Star of David / Left Forearm
Actually, me and my son Tydus went to Sea Wolf Tattoo Company together to get our first "Father / Son impulse tat" Jason was booked, so we had Mimi and Dylan do them. Although Klecko subscribes to the Polish Christ, and to a Catholic Church where Nuns will replace Priests........he still is married to a woman who was anchored in a Jewish family.
I have to hope that the God of Israel and the God of Warsaw respects a man and his son who get tats that pay homage to the ancestry of the wife/mother.
Anyways.....my arms are starting to run out of empty canvas, and because this one is that "Jewish Blue" color, it kinda pops out from my other pieces which are mostly red & black.
Either way, this tat may me look like a global citizen....LOL, take that Bono.
#39 Gulag Wolf / Back Left Bicep
In Siberia, I had a body Guard named Sasha. His job was to keep me alive. One day he took me to a dirt field the smoke cigs and drink Jack Daniels. The sun was shining, so he took off his shirt. On his back were tattoo's of diplomats, religious figures and wolves....all framed with rifle scopes.
When I asked who these images were, he responded......
"These are the people that put me in prison."
Sasha is cool.
btw....JASON WALSTROM inked this one.
#40 Clipper Ship / Over Left Elbow
When the State Fair was over, I slept for 3 days. When I woke up, it was Thursday, everybody was at work, so I went over to what was up at Seawolf. I had a couple coins in my pocket, but Jason was busy. He was finishing his last appointments before his wedding.
But then Mimi and Dilly walked in, and Dylan said she would ink me, so I just plopped myself into the chair.
When she asked what I wanted, I told her not much.....I was just looking to kill time and she could draw anything on me that wasn't satanic or a butterfly.
She chose a Christopher Columbus looking ship with a wreath of roses framing it.
It's pretty dope for an elbow tat.
#41 Muttnik / Right Shin
Some people who collect tattoo's only go to pro's, people like Peter Shakman, these are the kind of guys that walk around in public wearing a kimono with a chihuahua under each arm.
Klecko likes to encourage the up and comers in the tattoo industry, so that's one of the reasons I went back to the S-Wolf, I figured I'd let Dilly get a crack at the big leagues.
If you don't know much about the world of tattoo's, let me fill you in on Rule #71.........
If You Haven't Inked A Bad A** Russian Tattoo, by artist terms...you are kinda a puke.
I wanted Dilly to get her moment, and Father-Son-Holy Ghost.....she hit a homerun.
In addidtion to attaching Laika - Russia's all time favorite dog to my leg.....I was also entertained by the UPS man entering the shop while I was getting drilled.
The package carrier dude was almost Peter Shakman scary himself, but he brought Dilly a large parcel that he called a "Fun Box". it was sent across state lines from Dilly's mom.
While Dylan continued working on my tattoo, Mimi pulled random item after item out of the box.
I think if young Dilly should meet an untimely demise......I am claiming dibs on her white gloves which are to be used for tea drinking.
In closing, I gotta tell ya......Klecko's peeps have been more than impressed with this newest tattoo.
Way to go Dylan!
#42 Woman Dancing with Tiger / Side of Right Thigh
Sometimes random tattoo's can be the most rewarding, the DANCING WOMAN / TIGER is no exception. Jason Walstrom inked this epic piece which will certainly be talked about for ages. Some have rumored the "Woman" to be a brothel attendant, while others think she may be a circus performer....I like to think she may be both.
#43 Dilly - Ghost Baker / Inside Left Bicep
Earlier this week I got a call telling me that there was some kind of fashion show at Sea Wolf Tattoo and dilly wanted me to be her model. Dilly is famous for her line of "Dilly Ghosts" tattoo's which in many ways are too advanced for me to explain.
However, I got a Baking Dilly Ghost, and coincidentally....my Dilly Ghost that she inked was her 100th Dilly Ghost, at the end of the competition.....Dilly was voted top InkMaster and I received Top Model award.
#44 Dilly - Ghost Nurse (Tribute of Love) Inside right Bicep
It seems that all the ink hipsters are getting Dylan's ghost tattoo's, with good reason...they are epic. sue McGleno loved the baker ghost, and kinda insisted I consider getting a companion for it. I mentioned Heidi Klum but was denied, so back to Sea World Tattoo. The Dilly Nurse Ghost is equipped with a syringe that flicks a bead of blood off the tip. Also...Sue McGleno loves the girly eyelashes.
#45 (Klecko's Mantra) Inside left Leg - Above Ankle
Yesterday I stopped by Sea Wolf Tattoo to drop off some baked goods for the staff and MiMi showed me a wonderful font of Klecko's Mantra..................
"MAKE BORSCHT - NOT WAR"
MiMi is interesting, because she moves quick and has a strong focus, I am guessing should would make a good surgeon. While so many tattoo artists rave about doing spectacular pictures....MiMi rages against common opinion, she prefers script.
MiMi is cool.
#46 Finley's Writing Mantra #1 - Right Bicep (just over the inner arm hinge).
#47 Finley's Writing Mantra #2 - Left Bicep (just over the inner arm hinge).
Jason Walstrom did these 2 tattoo's, in a way....they combine into one sentence, and just so I don't thwart karma, it should be stated for the record that these tattoo's were given to me as a Christmas present from my friends @ Sea Wolf Tattoo.
The right arm (your left when looking at me) says .....
SEE- SEE
The left arm says.....
SEE - CRY
So when both arms are placed together, it says
SEE - SEE - SEE - CRY
This is Finley's ancient poetry mantra that has all kinds of stealth-ninja vibes attached to it, if he wants to post in this Blog what it means, he is welcome to, however....I won't.
It's not my story to tell.
#48 Organ Grinder Monkey - Left Outer Thigh
This is another Jason Walstrom original, "I researched it" Jason siad, and told me what kind of monkey it was, but I can't pronounce it, let alone spell it. We did get to use a new color for its fave, according to J.W. "Monkeys have different skin tones than humans."
Therefore....that tube he used is now dubbed....MONKEY FLESH.
And yes.....it is wearing a red fez.
#49 JFK - Inner Right Arm / between elbow and bicep
Today is Saint Patrick's Day, and while so many of my Irish brethren are downtown congregating around mugs of green beer....I wanted to really celebrate my Irish heritage. so I ended up driving over to Sea Wolf Tattoo Company to get a JFK tattoo. I will spare you politics, but I must say.....to this day I am still really pissed that the only Catholic President my country has ever had...got blown away and everybody seems comfortable buying into the fact Oswald killed him.
OSWALD WAS A PATSY!
Today was a special treat for me because today's ink came from the hands of J Christopher Rode himself.
J Christopher owned the shop where I first met Jason Walstrom. It was the TRUST FATE shop off of Snelling Avenue in St Paul.
J Christopher might have the most professional demeanor of any artist I have ever met.
He had a chest piece booked this afternoon, but he took the time to squeal me in, and even though I have sat through dozens of tattoo's over decades, this didn't deter him from asking.........
"Are you comfortable?"
"Does that feel OK?"
"Is there anything else we need to do here?"
And with that said....I should throw in, dude has one of the lighted hands I've ever scene.
Klecko doesn't mind pain so that might be irrelevant.......but if you are a wuss, and want somebody who will drop some sic ink, w/o hurting you....J Christopher Rode is your guy.
Top of the evening to you Micks.....you can go back to your green beer now.
That people who have a large amount of tattoo's across their body are screaming for attention.
I think I would have disagreed with that 24 hours ago, but then I got in a conversation with Capitol Cities Rebel Poet Mike Finley.
He told me that the legendary poet/writer Oscar Wilde always walked around carrying a flower, and he always made certain that he had one in hand, clutched tightly to his breast whenever he read his work(s) publicly.
When I asked why??? It was explained to me that Mr. Wilde struggled with his sexuality, not so much that he was gay, but maybe he didn't want to have angry minds beating him for a life style that wasn't received with the same level of respect as it is today.
But with that said.....everybody knew Wilde liked boys, and he knew... that they knew, so according to Finley......the flower acted as a buffer, it was like maybe he was making a joke on his terms to avoid the horrible comments that would have most certainly been tossed in his direction.
Maybe that's why I get tattoo's I guess, to be honest....I really haven't thought to hard about it.
But I guess in my own "Klecko Way" going to the tattoo shop is kinda like going to church or confession.
You can mock me as much as you like, and truth be told...I wouldn't blame you, but sitting in the chair and getting drilled is me...being in my element of comfort.
It's like therapy.
So this morning, I woke up early, and had the day off so I decided to stop at the coffee shop and get a depth charge, and then head over to the gym to pray for your souls while running on that blasted treadmill.
OK, I'm at the coffee shop, standing in line, and I'm wearing Lebron gym shorts and a T-Shirt that has the sleeves hacked off.
The coffee shop is busy, busier than I like, but I decided to stand in line anyway.
In front of me is a guy, and the guy, I want to say he was "rotund", but he wasn't...he was fat.
And this fat guy was clean shaven bald, wore wire rimmed glasses, and dude was also sporting a bright orange pair of Croc's.
Tick-Tock went the clock, and the line crawled, and crawled even slower.
During this waiting period, I would catch "Guy" staring at me out of the corner of his eye.
This was the same "sideways" stare that 60 year old men would give me, just before they offered me sex when I hitch hiked across America in 1980.
The line obviously wasn't going to dent soon, so my "friend" struck up the courage to ask....
"What does $87 mean?
Daddio was looking at my newest tattoo, so new in fact that it is still raw and pissed off looking.
If you have a lot of tattoo's you'll get this, if you don't...you might not, but when your body is covered with art work, sometimes you enjoy discussing your ink, but other times you simply don't, you feel as if you have to defend it.
I didn't want to defend anything this morning.
Klecko responded....
"Jack Kerouac had eighty seven dollars in his checking account when he died."
The fat man squinted with a face that resembled an animated hippo....
"Who is Kerouac?" he asked.
O-M-G....I just crawled out of bed, and now I just know its just gonna be one of those days.
So I gave the man a history lesson and hoped me being cordial would put a clamp on his curiosity.
It didn't.
The "Guy" looked at my left bicep, the one covered with Ronald Reagan's portrait and said.......
I see you have a tattoo of the worst person that ever lived in America.
Although I was stunned at this guys lack of social filter I responded be telling his to shut his ******* mouth, and to get away from me, a second warning wasn't going to be issued.
I almost never swear in business or at people I have never met.
I do use bad words on occasion, but I would be the first to admit....swearing is a sign of stupidity in my book, and yes...by definition, I am stupid.
The guy looked shocked, he stepped back and then explained.....
"Hey I make 285 thousand dollars a year, so it would be in my best interest to vote Republican,but I do the right thing....I vote Democrat."
You could see the smoke floating out of my ears, I did the stop and count to 10 thing....but I only made it to 4 before blurting out.....
"How on earth can a person make $285 000 dollars annually, and not know who Kerouac is, and show up in florescent Crocs?"
Some of our line mates heard this comment and started to laugh, and my moment began to spiral.
You guys should know by now that Klecko is glad when he can say he's sorry, it means that there is closure on conflict. That is always the best solution.
But right or wrong, I like Ronald Reagan, he is my guy, and I just didn't feel like I should have been put into that position when all I wanted was coffee.
I'll have to admit, by the time I got to the gym. I ended up praying for my soul...not yours.
In no certain order....welcome to the Klecko Tattoo Inventory
#1 Woody Woodpecker (Left Shoulder Blade)
This was my first tat ever, I got it at the old Rainbow Tattoo on Rice Street back when only bikers tatted. Back then, there was only 3 tattoo parlors in the Twin Towns, now there's more like 300. Back in those days, it wasn't like getting a tattoo from Kat Von "D" on L.A. Ink. you weren't allowed to bring in a portrait of a dead relative and whine while the artist inked your tribute. Back then everything was "Flash".
Flash is basically a series of pre drawn pictures that the artist already had, basically stencils. I liked the Woody Woodpecker image because Woody was fun, not smart...but clever, and in this picture, he was p-i-s-s-e-d.
#2 Skull / Top Hat (Left Shoulder)
When your first tattoo is fun, the second one better be a "Bad Boy" tat or the boys in the hood will tromp your a**. I got this one at ACME
#3 Skeleton Popping Out of a Jack in the Box (Outside-Left Calve)
I got this one down in Newport with my friend Brutus, he knew a guy named Papa Mike, I forget what the shops name was, but it only lasted a summer. This tat also qualifies as "Bad Boy" and is "Black Art) which is the practice of using different shades of black and gray. That was like 1986ish, and back then..in the TC's, you didn't see many leg tats, but my calves were as big as fire hydrants...and my vanity wanted you to notice.
#4 Angry Rabbit / Top Hat (Right Shoulder)
This was done at Mystic Moon Tattoo and that shop (along with Condom Kingdom) sponsored mine and Brutus's grunge magic show. This tat brings back memories of sadness as well. On the night I got it, I had a gig at the Mirage (a Metal head bar) and that was the night ownership changed their mind at pulled us off as the opening act for the Dio show.
#5 Saint Faustina (Right Thigh)
when I broke into the baking big leagues, most bakers came from the army....or prison. Either way, both camps had an ample amount of tattoo's. Baking was very ethnic in those days as well, you baked with people of your own blood line, and many bakers selected a saint from their camp. Faustina wasn't the first female saint canonized in the new millennium...she was the first human being. That's how much JP2 loved her.
She was/is the pride of Poland. During the 30's-40's she was a Nun, and she was smoking hot and the ugly Nuns hated her, so they forced her into the kitchen and made her bake bread.
Faustina was thought to be mentally unstable, but in fact....the only-only-only thing she wanted from life was to love God and serve God.
She died tragically from lung issues and her "Saint Day" is always the Sunday that follows Easter.
I once found her prayer card when I was in Moscow's Red Square, I took it as a sign.
Good looking, Pollack, bread baker and crazy....who else does that remind you of?
#6 5/23 (Back of Neck)
On May 23rd, 2002 my son Tydus hit his first home run. He was 9 years old, and he hit it off of Tommy Bockman (Joe Mauers cousin) and it was our teams first home run of the new season. If you could of seen his expression when he crossed home plate.....I mean if I were in a P.O.W. camp, this would be one of the few images I would lock into my minds vault.
We won the game and went home that night, and I'll never forget. I called Domino's pizza and told the guy on the other line......
"My son hit his first home run ever...a monster shot, give us a pepperoni pie and heavy on the pepperoni.
In less than 30 minutes, I swear to Polish Christ....when I flipped the cardboard box open....you couldn't see cheese or sauce, Pizza man completely-completely covered the top as if it was one pepperoni.
To this day, Tydus will call me each may 23rd, on home run day and say...."PaPa, mother won't be buying me anything for the celebration...but you can if you like.
#7 KIKI / Star (Right Shoulder Top)
As you can imagine, after getting one kid tatted, the next come kid must get done. I tatted Kiki in a star (Starr being her middle name) and it is purple, cuz that was her favorite color and it has her September 22nd birthday date. For those of you who delve into "Middle Earth"...that means Kiki shares a birthday with both Bilbo and Frodo Baggins.
#8 Susie (Left Bicep)
Its Old English script and it's black lettering. The artist at Fluid Ink informed me...."Its never smart to get your bit**** name inked, what if she dumps you?"
I assured him it would be OK and if fate had us splitting, I'd simply get a dog and name it Susie within minutes of the break up. Artist guy laughed, and said he'd have to remember that one.
#9 Ronald Reagan (Left Bicep)
This tattoo is actually famous. The Huffington Post ran an issue of the worst political tattoo's...EVER, and even though their was stick people jumping out of the burning Twin Towers buildings, Lincolns portrait with a bullet hole in his skull, George W acting as Dracula and sinking vampire fangs into the Statue of Liberty's neck.....the readership voted my tat, the 40th American president as the most offensive.
You should actually run a Google search on that.
Maybe one of my top ten life highlights was riding the subways through Moscow in the spring, T-Shirt sleeve rolled up, and every Ivan in the transport grinning at Ronnie's mug.
#10 Family-Heart (Right Calve - Inside)
Inside of the calve hurts much worst than outside. I remember I had this chick named "Cat" tatting me at Fluid Ink. I called her on a Friday at 2 p.m. and said I'll be in at 6 for a TAT. She asked what I wanted, and I responded anything w/o Satan...and then I hung up. She did my Reagan tat, kinda knew me and therefore decided to draw a heart, but not a Valentines heart, but a body heart and in the middle of it was the word "FAMILY".
She said her perception of me was I was a "Family Guy".
I hope she was correct.
#11 Gracie (Right Bicep - Inside)
Gracie is my Sheltie / American Eskimo mix. somebody once told me that was the mix that the circus used for their "Dancing Dogs"...you know, the ones that stood up and ran pranced around in ballet skirts. Gracie went to agility classes when she was little and angered the instructor when her time topped the instructors best...LOL
#12 P-Nut (Left Bicep - Inside)
P-Nut by law (or certificate) was born Peanut Van Halen and is the Pack Alpha at 1311. she is a wire coat Jack Russell and would take a bullet for me...but nobody else. Klecko has always been a fan of such qualities.
#13 Romeo (Right Bicep - Back)
The thing that's different about Romeo's tribute is that his name is placed inside a bone, but the bone also has spider webs on it, as if to denote Romeo's demise, but actually the red spider web was just a signature of "Cat's" tattoo's during her "Fluid Ink" years. Romeo is the smooth coat Jack Russell, brother to Peanut...same dad, different mother, and this skid-dish mutt has smitten Sue McGleno like no other living creature ever has. She carries him in a swaddling cloth as if he were the Christ child.
#14 Chili Davis (Left Calve - Back)
Chili Davis was a Miniature Schnauzer that made a career out of hating me. As you can imagine, my young children and their mother loved nothing better than have their "Childhood Dog" hate their father. If anybody in the family called, he ran to them and plopped onto his back so he could receive belly rubs, when I called his name....he just flipped me the paw. To get me good...one last time, he died of a breathing disorder at 3:13 a.m. on July 8th 2003, the morning of my 40th birthday.
Even though he hated me. I loved him, because my family worshiped him and I was thankful for that.
It was raining like a siv when I brought him in on that fatal night/morning, and when the vet sunk the needle....he was gone....POW, just like that. Chili Davis slumped dead and I began to howl. I stood in the parking lot, in the pouring rain howling. It sounds horrible to say this, but it hurt worse than when my father died.
The vet people must have thought I was something, cuz they sent me info on where I could get professional help to grieve my loss.
So on the back of my leg is a big tattoo of that mutt framed by a stain glass window.....now that I look at it....my heart is breaking.
#15 Johnny Cash (Right Calve Inside)
On the day Johnny Cash died...I called up Cat, told her it was me, I didn't even have to say what I wanted. she just asked what time. When I showed up, there was a vertical guitar with banners and floral stuff. It says R.I.P. Johnny Cash and gives his birth and death date.
This tat might have the widest range of fans of all of my tats....teenage girls to old men....they all respect this tattoo.
#15 Spy VS Spy / White Bird with Bomb (Right Chest)
It is traditional to get birds tatted on the left and right sides of your chest, towards the top.
Keeping with the tradition, I chose the "Good Bird" from Mad Magazines Spy VS. Spy.
Breaking tradition, I never followed though and got the Black Bird.
#16 Deedle-Deedle Chihuahua (Right Bicep - Center)
Inside of a heart you will find the torso portrait of my black chihuahua Deedle-Deedle (A.K.A. Bud, Meatball,Chico, Frito) I voted against him living with us, and with that said mas familia vetoed me. Deedle-Deedle moved in....he was very sick, almost dead, and I dropped 2 or 3 mortgage payments on him, and nursed him around the clock for over a month.
That dog knows I saved him and he shows me his gratitude everyday.
Danny Klecko has never once laid down to go to sleep.....but every time he wakes up....Deedle-Deedle is with him.
I love this dog more than my children...just ask them.
#17 Japanese Writing for Baseball / Left Elbow
#18 Russian Propaganda Poster #1 "Peace-Bread-Land" (Left Forearm - Inside)
Forearms are like "Boardwalk" real estate in tattoo terms, and I had a poster that was placed over the time clock in the bakery I worked at in Siberia placed on my primo spot.. It says Peace-Bread-Land, the mantra of the Bolsheviks,and it also has a hot-tough looking Russian woman who looks sexy and militant. And yes.....the #1 focus spot on my body contains a Hammer & Sickle. I guess you could call that a commitment huh?
This tat was done by Sarah, she took over my work after Cat got fired. Sarah came to Fluid Ink by the way of Sex World.
Sex World is an adult store that sells "Stuff" and "Experiences" and Sarah has told me more *Blush* stories than I care to remember.
#19 Russian Propaganda Poster #2 (Right Forearm - Inside)
Basically a lot like #1, but this one has a dude instead of a woman, and the scene was inspired by a picture I brought back from Sochi (by the Black Sea) in 2007 when everybody was working on the Olympic bid.
#20 ISBN (Right Forearm - Elbow to Wrist)
An ISBN is like a license plate for a book. Every published book has one, and they are sent to Library of congress. Back in the day they were 8 or 9 digits, but my book "K-9 Nation - Baking For My Best Friend" (MHS PRESS) had a 13 digit ISBN.
I got this tat at Trust Fate from Jason Walstrom who has gone on to do more tats for me than anyone.
#21 #52 (Left Arm - Over Wrist)
This was Tydus's high school football number. My son was the Captain of the Highland Park Scots, and they ended up winning the city championship his senior year.
#22 Madison Rose (Left Calve - Inside)
When my Granddaughter was born, I got a baby bottle crossing a rattle with her name....Madison Rose. The main colors are light blue and pink. Tydus wondered if anybody would give me grief over the color selection. I responded..."Grow Up!, and if they do....I'll crush their skull."
#23 Dutch Girl (Right Leg - Over Ankle)
I have a girlfriend from Holland who married a close friend of mine. They had kids together and were married for 23 years. Their kids were 13 and 10 the day I stopped over to their house and she had packed her bags to move away. She went to Florida and moved in with another man.
I cried really hard because I love this woman very much, and I didn't know what to do.
So I just got a tattoo.
#24 Lucky 13 (Left Leg - Outside over Ankle)
When Kansas City Bob's Dad got cancer, he moved back home to be with him. Kansas City Bob has a Hillary 08 tat, and a Buffy the Vampire one too. But his father spent 3 bucks and got the old Sailor Jerry arched black cat over the number 13 during the Korean war. When Kansas City Bob's dad passed away. People from the Food Industry also got this tat and sent it to Bob's Facebook wall to show their sympathy.
#25 King Kong - (BACK)
This is not only my Mona Lisa, but Jason Walstrom's as well. It took 12 0r 13 appointments over 1 year in a half. The tat started at the Trust Fate shop and moved over to the NorthEast Tattoo shop where he is currently working.
The outline took 6 hours. At the end of that session I was in so much pain I was trying to do Jedi Mind tricks.
The monkey is bigger than a month old baby and every-every-every single monkey hair was etched in....one little line at a time....Father, hear our prayers.
This was my pinnacle tattoo experience, and on the day it was done......I felt a great sense of relief.
But I think Jason was even happier it was over.
I didn't run a tally, but it was around 2 grand.
#26 #58 (Right Forearm - Above Wrist)
This was Tydus's College Football number. He played linebacker for 1 year for Luther, a D3 school in Decorah Iowa.
#27 Augsburg Eagle (Right Wrist - (Inside Forearm - Above Wrist)
Kiki went to college here and graduated with a business degree. The day I saw her toss that square cap into the air...it might of been the proudest day of my life.
#28 Muhammad Ali (Right Calve - Back)
Ali is the greatest that ever was-is, or will be. I went to the first Ali VS. Frazier fight at the old Met where the North Stars played with my old man. It was on satellite and pa burnt his second ticket on a second grade boy instead of a date. My tat is the image of Ali standing over Sonny Liston in 1961.
#29 Finley & Kerouac (Left Fore Arm - Top - Over Wrist)
Mike Finley and Jack Kerouac are simply the 2 most talented American Poet/Writers that I have read. I wear this tattoo with pride. Most times when I write, when I'm at the point that every column or poem gets to, when you look back at yourself and ask...."Is this my voice?" That's when I look at this tattoo and it tells me to not be a coward and just throw fireballs.
#30 Poets Are Lame (Right Elbow - Back)
One time my publicist Alison Aten was talking to me about some evening poetry reading and wondered if I was going. I responded...."Poets are lame." and she laughed and said she's by me lunch once a month for a year if I tattooed that. 2 day later I was doing a story on "Mojo Monkey Donuts" and next to there shop was West 7th Tattoo. Needless to say.....the bet was over.
#31 KIKI (Left Forearm - Outside - Top)
One day my daughter called me and told me she was sad. My Kiki complains less than anybody in our family. I knew she was driving up from Omaha in 4 days...so I ran to the Tat Shop and had Jason put her name in big letters across my arm. When she walked into the house, she looked...saw it, and smiled really big.
#32 Merry Christmas Tanaya Jade (Left Forearm - Outside)
Of all my 700 Facebook friends, I get along best with Tanaya Jade. Many people assume I like her because she is smoking hot, sure...that doesn't hurt, but even more than that....I like her quick wit, clever mind and ability to be vulnerable without being needy or dramatic.
So I walked into the Tat shop and told Jason I wanted to get a "Merry Christmas Tanaya Jade" tattoo with a Holly accent. He asked why? I told him that when he was done....he would take a picture of it, and put it on her Facebook wall in New Zeland. All 4 of the artists in the shop got big-big smiles and hovered over my arm.
The crew was so stoked, when I pulled out my wallet...Jason told me to "F" off, this one was free and Merry Christmas.
This may of been my favorite gift I've ever given to anybody.
When some people heard about this, they chastised me and said I was crazy to do this for a woman I never met.
I laughed, agreed I might be crazy, but you don't have to meet somebody to know them. I've communicated with "T.J." every other day for years......
I'm mad about her.
#33 Nurse & Rose (Right Forearm - Outside)
This was more flash art from Walstrom, he loved this piece, it has some weird name, but basically it pays tribute to the nurses that dragged the soldiers of the battle fields of WW1. A guy can never go wrong with pretty girl tattoo's, just ask Axel Rose.
#34 Stag - (Right Bicep - Back)
More Walstrom flash art. This Deer torso has a wreath like deal around its neck, basically it kinda looks like the image on the Jagermeister bottle.
#35 $87 (Right Forearm - Inside -Under Elbow)
This is how much money Kerouac had in his checking account when he died, I got it on what would have been his 90th birthday.....and this brings this posting back to the beginning, full circle.
From here on out......if I get more tattoo's, I will use this as my Ink Vault......because doesn't everybody want to know what's on Klecko's body?
#36 Cry Baby (inside left wrist)
My Tattoo guy Jason Walstom became a man today and opened his own shop. It's called Sea Wolf Tattoo Company and is located in South Minneapolis, kaddy corner from Matt's Bar (Home of the Juicy Lucy). Anyway, I figured I really needed to stop by and pay my respects, almost like a mafia thing LOL, I figured there could be 50 people there, or zero. If a crowd was there, I'd wave hi, letting "My Guy" know I was representing, and then duck out. If the shop was empty....well I guess I'd get some ink. I got there moments after they opened, and Jason had peeps in there, family, well wishers, but nobody was in the chair. I could see my buddy wondering if I was visiting, or spending. I hopped in the chair, told him to pick out anything he pleased, and my boy just laughed and stenciled a cry baby. It's a flash piece, and Jason said he'd been waiting forever for somebody to let him do it.
Congrats Brah!
#37 Torch / forearm- Left Bicep
So while Jason was tattooing me on the first day of the shop, his employee MiMi sat at her station waiting patiently for her first client at this new location. The shop was running a $50 special if you picked certain flash art pieces of the "Sailor Board". It was still early in the day, but I wondered....how bad would it suck if MiMi got shut out on her first day. While Jason bandaged me up, I asked the kid if she wanted to have a go. MiMi totally got that it was a "Sympathy Tat", but hey...a tat is a tat huh? During our session, 4 of her friends came in. One of them was going to get some work done after I was out. BTW....MiMi has a big light up accordion hanging over her work station, chick isn't a poser....she actually plays.
#38 Cartoon Wolf / Back Left Bicep
My boy Jason finally became a man, and opened his new tattoo shop. It is called Sea Wolf Tattoo Company and is located in South Mpls kaddy corner from the Matt's Bar where they sell those Juicy Lucy's.
The theme of his shop is kinda nautical, after all, it is named after the Jack London book (Sea Wolf)
So I went in and had Jason ink my arm so I could billboard for his vision.
It says SEA WOLF TATTOO COMPANY, and underneath the banner of letter is that cartoon wolf from those cartoons in the 40's or 50's. He was in a dozen different cartoon concepts, but he was always causing mayhem.
#38 Star of David / Left Forearm
Actually, me and my son Tydus went to Sea Wolf Tattoo Company together to get our first "Father / Son impulse tat" Jason was booked, so we had Mimi and Dylan do them. Although Klecko subscribes to the Polish Christ, and to a Catholic Church where Nuns will replace Priests........he still is married to a woman who was anchored in a Jewish family.
I have to hope that the God of Israel and the God of Warsaw respects a man and his son who get tats that pay homage to the ancestry of the wife/mother.
Anyways.....my arms are starting to run out of empty canvas, and because this one is that "Jewish Blue" color, it kinda pops out from my other pieces which are mostly red & black.
Either way, this tat may me look like a global citizen....LOL, take that Bono.
#39 Gulag Wolf / Back Left Bicep
In Siberia, I had a body Guard named Sasha. His job was to keep me alive. One day he took me to a dirt field the smoke cigs and drink Jack Daniels. The sun was shining, so he took off his shirt. On his back were tattoo's of diplomats, religious figures and wolves....all framed with rifle scopes.
When I asked who these images were, he responded......
"These are the people that put me in prison."
Sasha is cool.
btw....JASON WALSTROM inked this one.
#40 Clipper Ship / Over Left Elbow
When the State Fair was over, I slept for 3 days. When I woke up, it was Thursday, everybody was at work, so I went over to what was up at Seawolf. I had a couple coins in my pocket, but Jason was busy. He was finishing his last appointments before his wedding.
But then Mimi and Dilly walked in, and Dylan said she would ink me, so I just plopped myself into the chair.
When she asked what I wanted, I told her not much.....I was just looking to kill time and she could draw anything on me that wasn't satanic or a butterfly.
She chose a Christopher Columbus looking ship with a wreath of roses framing it.
It's pretty dope for an elbow tat.
#41 Muttnik / Right Shin
Some people who collect tattoo's only go to pro's, people like Peter Shakman, these are the kind of guys that walk around in public wearing a kimono with a chihuahua under each arm.
Klecko likes to encourage the up and comers in the tattoo industry, so that's one of the reasons I went back to the S-Wolf, I figured I'd let Dilly get a crack at the big leagues.
If you don't know much about the world of tattoo's, let me fill you in on Rule #71.........
If You Haven't Inked A Bad A** Russian Tattoo, by artist terms...you are kinda a puke.
I wanted Dilly to get her moment, and Father-Son-Holy Ghost.....she hit a homerun.
In addidtion to attaching Laika - Russia's all time favorite dog to my leg.....I was also entertained by the UPS man entering the shop while I was getting drilled.
The package carrier dude was almost Peter Shakman scary himself, but he brought Dilly a large parcel that he called a "Fun Box". it was sent across state lines from Dilly's mom.
While Dylan continued working on my tattoo, Mimi pulled random item after item out of the box.
I think if young Dilly should meet an untimely demise......I am claiming dibs on her white gloves which are to be used for tea drinking.
In closing, I gotta tell ya......Klecko's peeps have been more than impressed with this newest tattoo.
Way to go Dylan!
#42 Woman Dancing with Tiger / Side of Right Thigh
Sometimes random tattoo's can be the most rewarding, the DANCING WOMAN / TIGER is no exception. Jason Walstrom inked this epic piece which will certainly be talked about for ages. Some have rumored the "Woman" to be a brothel attendant, while others think she may be a circus performer....I like to think she may be both.
#43 Dilly - Ghost Baker / Inside Left Bicep
Earlier this week I got a call telling me that there was some kind of fashion show at Sea Wolf Tattoo and dilly wanted me to be her model. Dilly is famous for her line of "Dilly Ghosts" tattoo's which in many ways are too advanced for me to explain.
However, I got a Baking Dilly Ghost, and coincidentally....my Dilly Ghost that she inked was her 100th Dilly Ghost, at the end of the competition.....Dilly was voted top InkMaster and I received Top Model award.
#44 Dilly - Ghost Nurse (Tribute of Love) Inside right Bicep
It seems that all the ink hipsters are getting Dylan's ghost tattoo's, with good reason...they are epic. sue McGleno loved the baker ghost, and kinda insisted I consider getting a companion for it. I mentioned Heidi Klum but was denied, so back to Sea World Tattoo. The Dilly Nurse Ghost is equipped with a syringe that flicks a bead of blood off the tip. Also...Sue McGleno loves the girly eyelashes.
#45 (Klecko's Mantra) Inside left Leg - Above Ankle
Yesterday I stopped by Sea Wolf Tattoo to drop off some baked goods for the staff and MiMi showed me a wonderful font of Klecko's Mantra..................
"MAKE BORSCHT - NOT WAR"
MiMi is interesting, because she moves quick and has a strong focus, I am guessing should would make a good surgeon. While so many tattoo artists rave about doing spectacular pictures....MiMi rages against common opinion, she prefers script.
MiMi is cool.
#46 Finley's Writing Mantra #1 - Right Bicep (just over the inner arm hinge).
#47 Finley's Writing Mantra #2 - Left Bicep (just over the inner arm hinge).
Jason Walstrom did these 2 tattoo's, in a way....they combine into one sentence, and just so I don't thwart karma, it should be stated for the record that these tattoo's were given to me as a Christmas present from my friends @ Sea Wolf Tattoo.
The right arm (your left when looking at me) says .....
SEE- SEE
The left arm says.....
SEE - CRY
So when both arms are placed together, it says
SEE - SEE - SEE - CRY
This is Finley's ancient poetry mantra that has all kinds of stealth-ninja vibes attached to it, if he wants to post in this Blog what it means, he is welcome to, however....I won't.
It's not my story to tell.
#48 Organ Grinder Monkey - Left Outer Thigh
This is another Jason Walstrom original, "I researched it" Jason siad, and told me what kind of monkey it was, but I can't pronounce it, let alone spell it. We did get to use a new color for its fave, according to J.W. "Monkeys have different skin tones than humans."
Therefore....that tube he used is now dubbed....MONKEY FLESH.
And yes.....it is wearing a red fez.
#49 JFK - Inner Right Arm / between elbow and bicep
Today is Saint Patrick's Day, and while so many of my Irish brethren are downtown congregating around mugs of green beer....I wanted to really celebrate my Irish heritage. so I ended up driving over to Sea Wolf Tattoo Company to get a JFK tattoo. I will spare you politics, but I must say.....to this day I am still really pissed that the only Catholic President my country has ever had...got blown away and everybody seems comfortable buying into the fact Oswald killed him.
OSWALD WAS A PATSY!
Today was a special treat for me because today's ink came from the hands of J Christopher Rode himself.
J Christopher owned the shop where I first met Jason Walstrom. It was the TRUST FATE shop off of Snelling Avenue in St Paul.
J Christopher might have the most professional demeanor of any artist I have ever met.
He had a chest piece booked this afternoon, but he took the time to squeal me in, and even though I have sat through dozens of tattoo's over decades, this didn't deter him from asking.........
"Are you comfortable?"
"Does that feel OK?"
"Is there anything else we need to do here?"
And with that said....I should throw in, dude has one of the lighted hands I've ever scene.
Klecko doesn't mind pain so that might be irrelevant.......but if you are a wuss, and want somebody who will drop some sic ink, w/o hurting you....J Christopher Rode is your guy.
Top of the evening to you Micks.....you can go back to your green beer now.
Great reading Klecko - you have inspired me to get a tat.
ReplyDeleteOr 2......
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWoof ... this is a skin novel ... thanks for the permanent blurb
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have fit Mark Twain in, but maybe another day........
DeleteIn re Wilde ...
ReplyDeleteHe didn't always carry a flower -- as a young man he was a leader of the aesthete movement, a follower of Walter Pater ... I believe he was styling himself as a fop ... he had a comic heart and was making fun of his own over-3educated sense of self ... very odd for an Irishman to be that way ... he was not upper class, but he pretended to be ... he didn't "struggle" with his sexuality... he made very broad public hints about it ... but he wasn't a letch or pederast either ... his great love was lord Douglas, the son of the Marquis of Queensbury, the writer of the rules of boxing ... Douglas was more of a "monster" than Wilde ... aided by the fact he hated his father ... Wilde loved both his parents
How could he love his parents.....he was Irish
DeletePhotos?
ReplyDeleteWisconsingal.....I have never posted photo's in the Blog site, and that decision was intentional. I want people to stop, think and draw the pictures in their head, however....I may be doing a full catalog on my Facebook Page (see Danny Klecko)
DeleteKlecko, reading this made me weep. And fall a little deeper. Absolute proof that it takes a better than average person to bear the honour of being a Water Rabbit, more's the pity.
ReplyDeleteFay, you can always fall into my Rabbit Hole anytime. The only thing about being a Water Rabbit, is being a Water Rabbit...in the Year of the Dragon!
DeleteXOXO - LUV YA KID
WoW! I am so glad I read this for so many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that should I ever encounter you at a coffee shop I won't have any need to inquire as to your tattoo history ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jud, yeah....nothing worse than coffee shop conflicts huh? LOL
DeleteThis is one of my favorite reads of yours, Klecko. Love it. My first tattoo was at the county fair in Dunkirk, New York - 1977, cost $3 --
ReplyDeleteYou are a Rock Star in my world.
Deb...nothing, and I mean nothing beats a 3 dollar Dunkirk tattoo
DeleteI would say, make an online book, like a child's Golden book, with photos of each tat ... and your stories alongside ... but I have a feeling you will be doing this for quite a while ... adding to the text
ReplyDeleteThis is a good idea.
DeleteOMPJ, I laughed so hard I cried. Dude, you are my hero. Hold on, this is not where I was originally going. You distracted me. That's what you did. Back on track now. Listen here bucko! No chess tat????? Seriously. I am... well, speechless, aghast, that's it, aghast. Get on it. Polish Jesus have mercy on my friend. Judas H. Priest man! Listen, you inspire me and make me laugh tons, so I'm going to forgive you here. Really??????
ReplyDeleteA chess tat does seem needed....point well taken
DeleteI think the picture book IS a fine idea ... like a museum brochure
ReplyDeleteI can tell people what the mystery is behind Tattoos #46 and #47 ... but I do so at some risk ... this is runic wisdom ... meaningless to the uninitiated but sacred to those who have felt the crushing weight of it in their lives ...
To wit ... we were talking about poetry ... I said that the problem is that we get tangled up in trying to tell our story when the story is not really ours to tell ... so why get all leggo my egghole about it ...
Then I said that, when I get lost, I go back to the Chinese ... to the translators like Arthur Walery and Kenneth Rexroth and Witter Bynner ...
Their legacy is a style of correspondence poetry sent by one friend years ago to another ... poems were a way to stay in touch when mountains and provinces separate you ...
And the formula of this epistolary form is See ... See ... See ... See ... Cry ... That is to say, you describe what is around you in a series of mounting images ... which culminate in a mad emotional breaking through ... It is a humble way to achieve greatness, by allowing the world to be the world, and letting it get to you ...
In honor of the winter solstice:
WINTER DAWN (by TuFu)
The men and beasts of the zodiac
Have marched over us once more.
Green wine bottles and red lobster shells,
Both emptied, litter the table.
“Should auld acquaintance be forgot?” Each
Sits listening to his own thoughts,
And the sound of cars starting outside.
The birds in the eaves are restless,
Because of the noise and light. Soon now
In the winter dawn I will face
My fortieth year. Borne headlong
Towards the long shadows of sunset
By the headstrong, stubborn moments,
Life whirls past like drunken wildfire.
'It does not literally have to lead to cry ... it can also lead to sigh ... fly ... nigh ... even die ... but it must give you sincere shivers
But cry we shall!
DeleteSEE-SEE-SEE-CRY