Friday, August 19, 2011

BEAR BAIT - A Topic of Sorrow

I can pretty much gaurentee you that within the last 48 hours, every bakery in Minnesota has been hit up by a myriad of requests, all at the hands of hunters.

You see, mid August is when sportman (or has that turned to "sportsperson" with the escalating number of female hunters?) scour their world looking for free stuff with ripe odors to bait bears with.

For those of you who follow this Blog, you know by now that Klecko always roots for the animal.

I don't want to be a hater, but I simply never understood "Hunter Guy."

When boys grow up, they have 4 main camps where they can go if they want to learn a skill that will help stengthen their confidence and skill sets.

They are as follows..........

#1 - JOCK

You all know this camp, it can be inclusive as long as you have the personality type that allows you to plug into other people. You set goals against other squads or yourself.

Being mentored at how to channel competitive juices can really be helpful down a young jocks life course, but I think the biggest advantage to this camp is that they don't get depressed as much as other camps since they are lacking in world event knowledge LOL, it's hard to know what CNN is reporting when your TV is always set to ESPN.


This guy is typically a loner, he has the skill to not only drop engines, but dude can build a house if need be.

It's all in the genetic wiring,I hate this guy more than anything else. I think the main reason is because I am not only in awe of him....but I am jealous of him as well.

I would totally be great at getting all FAST & FURIOUS with stream line street rods and hot chick girl friends.

Have you ever noticed in those movies how Vin Diesel never has to work out, but he is totally ripped, he never seems to have a job, but he stumbles into $80 000 cars like my recycle box collects empty Diet Coke cans.

And the women, now I'm not complaining, Sue McGleno covers that department well, but she doesn't conveniently fade out of my life w/o heartbreak or reason, thusly setting up a total bombshell chick for Klecko's life sequel.

Yeah....Motorheads got it good.

#3 - GEEK

This camp can be actor guy, poet guy, I love numbers guy, computer guy. Anything that basically has a focus that drifts around the perimeter of intelligence.

These boys get mocked, and often times slugged during their formitive years, but w/o a doubt...they always get the last laugh. They are bright, realistic and well organized, these gentlemen will inevitably become the employer of the 3 other camps.

#4 - Hunter Guy

Hunter guy dreams out taking down a rhino, duck or squirrel like I dream about girls-soup and Scotch. If you watch him go fishing, he will throw his recently caught fish back into the water and brag how much of a good soul he is for practicing "catch and release."

Could you imagine me pulling 3 random peeps off a bus with hooks that I thrust through their mouth, and after ripping said hooks out and watching the blood gush out of their cleft lip, turning to you and making a "Good Samaritian" claim?

I know - I know, you are going to say.........

"But Klecko, it is good to shoot deer, it thins out their population, otherwise they would starve to death."

Funny, we have entire countries starving on our planet, but if I went over their and tried to "thin them out with discretion", this would be called a crime against humanity, trust me....its been attempted.

So with all that said, I will hop into my public confessinal and announce to you that nobody is as full of crap as me.

Today I will give away food for my 3rd year, food that will be used to entice a living creature into potential gunfire.

I do it, because the request has come from my wifes, sisters son.

He is a young man who recently got married and got a job as a North Dakota State Trooper.

This kid likes me a lot, and he knows how to pay respect to his elders, I really appreciate that about him.

He knows my stance on killing, but when he originally asked me, he said if his request offended me, he was sorry, and would never ask again.

I do love animals, I kinda (kinda...) support the PETA deal, but I love my family more.

I really do.

It is easy for me to get caught up in my own personal laws, morals...stuff like that, but I have to tell you, at the end of the is really important for me to check my heart.

Bear Bait pick up is today, so even if you disagree with my stance, I get it, if you want to hate on me, I get that too.

but as the world keeps on spinning, I realize that most of you will return your focus on yourself before the sun sets, and while that is taking place......

I will be praying for the bears to elude harm.


  1. I understand the practice and the justification (you get a better look at the bear and can be sure it's not a sow with cubs), but it still strikes me as "unsporting". My hunting training (and we ate the deer and antelope and ducks and geese and pheasants) was as a stalker, not a waiter.

    Yes, there were times when we whined "Pheasant, again?" and "Venison meatloaf, again?"

  2. So what did you give him? Leftover squid ink bread?

  3. I gave him a 5 foot tower of unsold pesto loaves, 20 some marble loaves, hoagies, kaiser rolls, onion buns, hamburger rolls, French baguettes....

    And of course sourdough.

  4. bears are so sophisticated; pesto loaf, wild salmon and honey.