Alright.....the clock is ticking and its showtime. While you and yours have been laughing, loving and enjoying the bounty that life has to offer.......
Poor Klecko sits alone, mending every-single-last-detail in regard to create a perfect State Fair.
In less than 36 hours your favorite baker will get slammed with wave upon wave of fair goers, baking enthusiests, and possibily a couple of freaks as well.
Each year I go through folders and lists in hopes that it will safe guard me from forgetting one of the thousand "things" I will need in my State Fair Demo kitchen.
Recently, while going through this, I saw a handout from several years back when our theme was Christmas at the Fair.
The handout was this tacky red & green piece of paper that has the recipe for Egg Nog quick bread.
Praise be to Saint Faustina, John Paul 2 and all the orphans from Warsaw....this recipe is to die for.
As I listed the ingredients in my minds eye, I smiled thinking about all the years that my family wolfed down this tradition building bread.
But.....there was that one year, the year I pissed my mother off.
It must have been 8 years ago in fact, because Tydas was 12 years old. He had recently received a "kinda promotion" and was allowed to moved downstairs into the cinder block basement.
All autumn, all my son would say was.......
"Tydus wants a mini fridge for Christmas....Papa!"
I'm always "Papa" when people want stuff.
So I went to Sears, or Best Buy and got what he wanted, but for 3 months I had to endure the rantings and lamentations of Sue McGleno.......
"What's wrong with that kid? Who wants a mini fridge for Christmas? What will he use it for? It's not even normal."
So as the weeks dwindled away, and we got closer to the Christ's birthday, Klecko started having fun with the mini fridge gift.
One evening when I was at the Booze-Mart stocking up on holiday spirits, I decided to get my kid a 12 pack of beer. I knew it might put the holiday on it's ear, but that was OK. When a father needs to do, what he needs to do....stand back Christian Soldiers!
One of the things I've observed is that alot of my friends who had never been allowed to do certain "Bad" or "Naughty" things kinda ended up getting wack.
If you monitor, and moderate most things in life, it's tough for a kid to go a stray.......
Demystify - Demystify - Demystify, I'm telling you guys, I believe in this with all of my heart.
Well....maybe you haven't noticed, but sometimes when Klecko gets on a roll, the show gets bigger & bigger.
So I starteded thinking, other than booze, what else can trip up a young man?
That's when I decided to add on a Baywatch calender (featuring Pamela Anderson.)
I didn't tell anybody about the booze or girlie pix, I placed them inside the fridge and wrapped it with the aid of an entire Sunday paper and 1/2 a roll of duck tape.
So Christmas morning comes, and I'm guessing Jesus and the angels were peeking through the air vents, even heaven was talking about the "gift of the year."
So Kiki gets a sweater, Sue McGleno got something for quilting, Klecko got the Johnny Cash bio, my mother open a stupid $4 candle and cried. She cried like mom's do because it must be in her "mom contract."
"Oh I love this candle. It is the perfect color. I wanted a candle just like this in fact......"
The ranting and tears were certain to go on for at least another 1/2 hour, so Tydas bypassed etiquette and ripped apart his gifts packaging.
He knew what he was getting, but little dude was still really jacked when he saw the words "mini fridge" printed on the box.
"Thats not all boy, why don't you open up the fridge and see what Polish Santa left you?"
When he did, it was one of those cloud parting moments, you know....like in the religous post cards were a beam of light engulfs a newly baptized guy.
But my mother and Sue McGleno couldnt see the contents because they were looking from the back of the fridge.
When Tydus lifted up the twelve pack. I joked that they were to signify the disciples, nobody laughed though. In fact....I could see that look in my moms eyes. It was the same look that she had when she found out I got a mohawk 3 days prior to my sisters wedding.
I was about to explain the rules of the gift, you know....just one beer a day, and you can't give a single drop to your friends, but by that time Pamela Anderson was staring us down...lol, and I gotta tell ya, she was looking pretty good.
That was it. my mother became unglued and once again we had another epic holiday throwdown.
I am a "problem solver" for a living. I realize the value in negotiatons, but sometimes a cowboy simply can't back down.
My boy was just around the corner from becoming a man, and I have to tell ya.....do what you want with yours, but Klecko is Klecko, and he will always take bullets for his offspring if he deems it necessary.
Holidays, they can make or break a family huh?
Eventuallly as the day went on, I realized my tribute to my son really upset my mother. Sue McGleno wasn't thrilled, but I think I saw her crossing herself and giving thanks that there wasn't any weapons involved.
But know matter what takes place at a Pollack celebration, everything-everything-everthing must be put behind when you sit at the table and sample the following............
4 Fresh Eggs
1/2 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Rum
1 1/2 Cup Whiskey
1 1/2 Cup 1% Milk
1 Cup Whipping Cream
Seperate eggs into yokes and whites in seperate bowls
Beat egg-yokes with 1/2 the sugar set aside
Beat egg-whites until stiff, then mix in second 1/2 of the sugar
Pour the yokes into the whites and blend together
Then add your liquids and stir
Finally, carefully fold in your cream
Its best to serve at room temp and topped with nutmeg. I think this batch serves 8 Germans....but only 4 Pollacks!
2 eggs beaten
1 cup egg nog (from previous recipe)
2 tsp rum extract
1 cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup of butter (soft)
2 1/4 cup flour
2 tsp B-Powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 poppy seed
Don't forget.....bake at 400 degrees for the first 8-10 minutes, and then finish off the bake at 350 degrees.
BTW.....the following July, uncle Chuck stopped by during the MLB All Star game and before he sat down, like most uncles he demanded a beer.
The Klecko Casa isn't that big of a beer house, and since Uncle Chuck stopped in unannounced, I wasn't able to do him a solid, but thats when Tydas used his moment, and his gift to come up big.
My son and his Uncle submerged into the unkown for about 1/2 an inning, when they resurfaced....Uncle Chuck was holding 11 beers.
Tydas tried one beer and decided he liked Diet Coke better.