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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Klecko's Upcoming Reality Show

I can neither confirm nor deny the fact that Klecko has his sights on becoming the Mayor of Saint Paul, but just walk around the Capitol City and ask its residents and business owners if they would support his candidacy.

Chances are the majority would echo a slogan that has become everyday vernacular east of the Mississippi River................

"DANNY KLECKO IS GOOD FOR SAINT PAUL"

The question is how would a baker with a 2nd grade education and a fetish for tripping sacred cows be able to compete with the Ivy League transplants, and candidates with deep pockets.

Klecko says "Ya just gotta be smarter than the serpent....baby doll."

One of the dad statements I used to whip my kids with each day was.....

"If there is someplace you want to go, surround yourself with people who will get you there."

For me, my political mentors have always been Ronald Reagan and Clint Eastwood.

After analyzing their careers, I noticed both men had one thing in common. Each of them made movies with monkeys before running for political office.

America's 40th President made the "Bedtime for Bonzo" film, and the star of all those spaghetti westerns made the "Every Which Way but Loose" movies where an orangutan name Clyde, might have been the first co star that ever upstaged Mr. Eastwood.

With that being said......I think this is going to be my plan.

BREAD TIME FOR BONZO -

It wouldn't be a movie, but actually a reality series, like most reality series, a bunch of it would be prescripted, but I have every confidence once momentum was built.....well, stuff would just happen.

The pilot episode would start off with me on a therapists couch. I would have a female shrink of course, and I would tell her that I had never done anything like this before. Klecko is basically a shy an interverted soul.

As a Pollack you seldom are encouraged to think inwardly, or take personal inventory, in fact...we do just the opposite.We deal with our issues by screaming at our family members at the breakfast table while eating bacon.

Next my therapist would conclude I was daft and become frightened, in an attempt to jettison me, she would throw some feeble "Animal Guide" concept at my feet in hopes that I would terminate her services.

Nadda-Nadda enchilada, this idea would serve as an epiphany.

During Klecko's day to day, this concept would grab traction. He'd call Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson and Kobe Bryant and ask them who their animal guides were, but these cameo celebs would get freaked out as well and rebuke me.

But the end of all pilots have to end on a positive note right? So in mine, Jane Goodall would enter stage left and place her wise hands on my face. She would stare really hard into my eyes and softly whisper.........

"Danny Klecko, you already know the answer. The chimpanzee is your animal guide!"

And there you have it.

On the first installment of series 1, I would go to a chimp research center, and get a chimp named Peaches, but I would pull a George Foreman and name my chimp Danny Klecko.

For the next 12 episodes little Danny Klecko and me would cross Europe and stop in at bakeries of repute, and teach our home audience how to bake fares which are traditional of each region.

In Berlin we'd make Rye and Pretzel Bread, in Paris it would be Lean Dough Baguettes and Croissants, in Belfast...well Irish Soda Bread and Spotted Dogs of course.

But in addition to receiving a stellar baking education, just imagine the possible sub plots.

Who would be the bigger diva....the baker or the primate?

During episode #4 the customs in Scotland would detain us and threaten to take the monkey away. Me and my little furball would have our arms outstretched towards one another,kinda like that Michelangelo painting on the ceiling. We'd be shrieking in unison, the home viewership would be matching us tear for tear.

Episode #6 is when Interpol would team up with remnant members from the KGB who suffice it to say,thought my purpose was to transport coding systems for satellite systems which were tied into environment control. I'm guessing that they'd use every trick in the book to find our secret stash, but our duffel bag would only produce some Dutch hash and bananas, they'd use every trick in the book to obtain what they were looking for ......torture, super models. Who knows, maybe a stint in the Gulag.

But at the end of each episode, me and little Danny Klecko"the chimp" would join hand to paw and lumber down some lonely street into next weeks adventure.

By this point I'm sure you know Klecko the baker would doing something so fantastic with his season finale that people would continue talking about it all summer.

You're right, but you'll have to stay tuned to see that epic conclusion.

Anyways, that's my thought. This is whats on my radar.

Thanks for taking time to indulge me......but make sure you remember what the real thread of this post is.......

DANNY KLECKO IS GOOD FOR SAINT PAUL



4 comments:

  1. KLECKO FOR MAYOR!!!!!!! and next president... after that maybe pope?

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  2. 'During episode #4 the customs in Scotland would detain us and threaten to take the monkey away. Me and my little furball would have our arms outstretched towards one another,kinda like that Michelangelo painting on the ceiling. We'd be shrieking in unison, the home viewership would be matching us tear for tear.'

    Awesome.

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  3. You know the guest room in Brussels is always ready for you and the furball right? It comes pre-stocked with Dutch hash and bananas. Just sayin'....

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  4. Biblical Truth.....

    Pope Klecko.....can you even imagine?

    Andrew, thanks!

    Foxy Moxie.....Dutch hash...and banana's? Hmmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete