Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Allergy Test, Monkey Tattoo's and Savory Scones

Like many of you, often times when I go somewhere for an appoinment, I like to take a book with me so I won't die from boredom.

However, unlike many of you (I'm Guessing), often times the reading materials that I bring along are cookbooks.

Yesterday I has an appointment at St Paul Allergy.

I have never been to an allergy doctor before, so I wasn't sure what the waiting system was.

Like most medical places you've never been to, I was banking on sitting in a general waiting room and being forced to answer a clipboard worth of questions, but what about after that?

I mean would they make me wear a paper gown?

Would I be left alone in a tiny examination room?

Well, whatever the case, I was prepared. I had Michel Suas's "ADVANCED BREAD AND PASTRY BOOK" with me.

I am such a huge fan of this collection of recipes.

It is comprehensive, and shares some features which are unique in cookbook terms.

But the one thing that I find most valuble, and have often wondered why it hasn't been implemented before.....

This book lists recipes in commercial sizes, and then breaks them down to home enthusiest batch sizes as well.

Well, now that my clipboard assignment is done so now I decide to surf the table of contents and see what is available for scone recipes....

Butter Scone.... check -

Cream Scone.... check -

And then I see it....Savory Scone.

We've talked about this more than once throughout the past year, very few trends are climbing the charts quite like savory.

Just as my pointer finger began running down the ingredient column, the waiting room door opens..


Thats me, I am up and past the first wall.

Two women usher me over the the scale, and get your height station. When these objectives are met, they brought me down a long narrow hallway, and for whatever reason, the doors seemed kinda tiny so I almost felt as if I were walking through a stable barn.

In the room we go.

When I entered, the room was quite steril and professional looking. The walls, flooring and medical devices made this space cop a George Orwell - 1984 vibe.

But then up on the wall over the massage table, the very table that could have been borrowed from a Las Vegas brothel (not that I would know what those look like) was a picture.

The picture was actually a drawing, and the drawing was of a sad girl slouching.

I can't be positive, but this drawing looked as if it was done in pencil, and the unmatted frame that supported this expression, well it had to have been purchased at Michael's or Super Target.

The 2 women that assisted me, one was black...and one was white.

The black chick seemed to value my early morning Kleckoism's, but I think the white chick just took one look at me and thought.....

"I really don't want to start off my work week with this lout."

However, after taking my vitals, black chick leaves, and white chick decides to hang so she can vampire some blood samples.....

Father - Son - Holy Ghost.....I'll never get used to those needles, but when she is done, she gives me the oldest line in the book.....

"The Doctor will be in with you shortly."

Hah, the second they say that, it's usually time to break out the pillow and quilt, but then "BANG"...within 2 minutes, who walks in?

Doctor Geller.

The Doctor must have been mid to late 50's.

Thr top of his head "might" have been level with my sternum.

His hair was curly,he wore wire rimmed glasses, this guy looked like a doctor.

Then across the room, sitting on the "massage table" was this Big Ol' Shreck looking dude that was twice his size, wearing his fanciest Vin Diesel T-shirt, cargo shorts and bright red Jordon hightops.

I had more ink exposed than this man had flesh covering his entire body.

For a split second, he looked at me, and I think the sight of me stunned him.

So now I'm secretly thinking in that splittest of seconds.....

"Great, just what I need, another person of power in the world to hate me!"

But 3 or 4 seconds passed, and the Doctor asked me some questions, and as our interview progressed, the guy was more than nice to me. He was actually very kind.

I very much liked and was impresed by Dr. Geller.

So now he tells me to remove my shirt.

I do as I'm told, but my back is turned to him.

So I can't see his face or the expression on it,

A stethascope is strategically placed on different parts of my torso and I am told to breath deep and slow.

B---R---E---A---T---H once, twice thrice.

The stethoscope is removed and the room is silent for several seconds.

Finally Dr. Geller speaks.....

"That monkey is going to present a problem. Typically the gold test is done on the patients back, but I just don't think you have enough exposed flesh."

Then he dropped that "pondering" look, you know the look, when a person rests their chin in the palm of their hand....

"Perhaps I will call the techs in and get their opinion."

So now a couple other girlios enter my shoe box sized room, and theres Klecko standing 1/2 naked, spiraling these women into a world of lust from fantasizing about a weekend in Miami with the man with a monkey tattoo.

I held this freak show pose for about 30 more seconds until my medical team concurred and the game plan was to hit my arms with Dog-Cat-Pollen-Mold, and then we'd draw blood work for the other 2 billion dealios.

So is Klecko allergic to his mutts, flour....Sue McGleno.....

Details Pending...........

BTW - here is the Savory Scone recipe I was reading in Suas's book...Enjoy


Bread Flour 8 7/8 ounces

Semolina Flour 2 1/2 ounces

Durum Flour 3 3/8 ounces

B-Powder 5/8 ounces

Salt 1/2 tsp

Butter-cold 3 1/2 ounces

Cream 5 1/8 ounces

Honey 2 5/8 ounces

Scallion 1 5/8 ounces

Eggs 1 3/4 ounces

Pine Nuts 2 1/2 ounces

Goat Cheese 2 1/4 ounces

Total Weight 2 lb 3 oz

For those of you who don't live by a co op or someplace that has semolina or durham, you could replace that with something else. I might add the 2 1/2 semolina ounces to the bread flour, and then I'd sub out the durum with whole wheat.

The pine nuts, I would so roast those bad boys. I know - I know that strips the nutrients out...but they sure would taste divine.

Bake well L.A.B. Rats!


"If you think Klecko thinks he should be taken serious when talking about food, you should hear his thought on literature, he practically thinks he's Bono, but none the less...I keep going back for another hit."



  1. That number, again, is:


  2. Klecko writes..."theres Klecko standing 1/2 naked, spiraling these women into a world of lust from fantasizing about a weekend in Miami with the man with a monkey tattoo." Muay Picante Senor! And damn hilarious too.