Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Choosing a Bread Truck Color

So there I am, standing on the showroom floor of the bread truck store.

I am waiting for my sales rep to surface.

His name is Tyler, and he is from Loas.

My company has been working with him for years.

There are two things you can count on when you have a transaction with Tyler....

#1 - he is always on time.

#2 - he will find a way to work the word "Buddy" into 75% of the sentances that pass his lips.

Today rule #1 isn't true, my favorite truck pimp is nowhere to be seen.....

So Klecko slowly paces the showroom floor.

At the far end, I see this rotund middle age white guy.

He's sporting the Glenn Gary - Glenn Rossey $79 buisness suit.

The guys head is bald, except for the Friar Tuck horseshoe ring thing that wraps shaggily from ear to ear.

Obviously the guy has too much time on his hands one hand he is holding a string that is tied to a balloon filled with helium.

This balloon has wads of masking tape on it to act like a magnet.

The ceiling is really high, like an auditoriums.

And towards the corner of it is an escaped balloon that hovers in place like a frightened cat.

Its string was broken so now the guys trolls the taped balloon in its vicinity, snags it, and pulls it down to safety.

I almost felt sorry for this guy.

When he finally clutched the stray balloon, he had such a look of satisfaction in his eyes, suddenly he turns, notices me and says....

"This might be my greatest accomplishment of the day."

I would hate to see his dissapointments.

Tyler now surfaces and apoligizes for his tardiness, but he is quick to relay that.....

"Today is your lucky day buddy, we have incentives galore, but since you are my buddy...I will get you a greater deal."

Truth be told, I just thought I was getting an inspection for when my lease that expires in Novemeber, but my buddy wants to put me in a new unit in 3-2-1.

"We have red, we have blue, we have black, we have gold....what does my buddy want?"

I mentioned that in the world of bread trucks....white is this years (and every years) black.

So now my buddy is excited and runs off to check his inventory.

Could you respect a blue bakery truck? I certainly couldnt.

Waiting in a bread truck show room isn't much better than waiting in the lobby of an allergy doctor.

Klecko was bored.

So thinking about vehicles, I wondered why Sue McGleno hates it so much that I refuse to take the freeway to work.

"You'd save 8-10 minutes each way, thats 1 1/2 hours a week."

We've had this conversation about a million times.

I prefer drudgery with a view to expediting routes that have no soul.

Every morning I snail my way through downtown thinking about what breads to bake or what 2 songs I would sing on Saturday Night Live if they let my band MEOW headline. Theres a lot to be said for setting your mindset on your way to work.

Now Tyler comes back and reports tomorrow is going to be my lucky day.

Tomorrow the white bread truck would be ready.

As I pulled out of the lot in the Golden Goose, I couldn't help but smirk as I recalled her highlights.

Moments like the time the Mishek kid up the street, when his pick up slipped gear with no driver in it, and it smashed my son Tydus's car, totallying it into an accordian while slamming into my ride.

2 grand worth of damage there.

Or the time that women ran the intersection and almost sent Klecko home to bakers heaven.

What adventures will lie ahead as Klecko forms yet another relationship with a new bread truck....stay tuned.


POETS ARE LAME (and other things Mike Finley taught me)

It has been declared to be the "Bible of Literary Blogs" by the Apostle Paul.

1 comment: