Friday, April 1, 2011

Sue McGleno Goes to Washington!

Klecko has never been to his nations capitol. He's baked for American presidents,but they have always come to him.

Klecko has stood in Red Square on several occasions, he's sipped on Diet Cokes with Potato Girl at the Kremlin, but he's never gone to the White House.

During Sonny Boy's Junior year @ Highland High School, Klecko went against his better judgment and whored himself out to General Mills on some projects to raise coin for this unprecedented adventure. Sonny Boy had a blast. One of his highlights was going to the Holocaust Museum. He informed me that when you started the tour, you received a picture with a persons image on it. throughout the tour, you checked different check in posts to see how your person on the picture fared. When I asked him if his character survived, he smiled and reported......

"When I looked at my picture, I pretty much wrote myself off as a goner, but the kid next to me had a picture of some guy who looked like a Pollock so I gave him 3 bucks to switch. He ended up dead, and my guy made it through the tribulation."

I take pride in my sons networking skills, not a bad investment of $3 if you ask me.

Also on that trip Jacob "A" got sent home for playing with a Bic hardcore is that? Boy was his Mom pissed. Jacob didn't light anything on fire. he wasn't smoking. He simply had a fricken lighter and was flicking it in the stairwell of their Hotel.He had to fly home alone, 2 days early.I coached the kid about a dozen years ago, and he's safe, seems like a lot of unneeded drama if you ask me.

In 1939 Jimmy Stewart starred in the film entitled "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington."I can't imagine that you haven't watched it, but if you are not a TV addict..let me refresh you. This movie is AWESOME, it inspires you because he plays the role of some naive cat who fills a vacancy in the U.S. Senate. He wants to help the world, but before you know it....Daddio collides with political corruption. I won't spoil the ending in the event you are that one guy in Ne Paul who hasn't seen it yet.

But with that said, a lot you you "Last American Bakers" blog fans have been dropping me notes and sending messages indicating that they would like some more Sue McGleno stories, so I'm gonna tell you one of my favorite memory's of all time.

When Sue McGleno and I hooked up, she was on General Assistance (Welfare or the Dole if you are reading this in Euro.)

I wanted to marry her immediately, and I will tell you how that went down in a future post, but for now let me stay on track. Sue McGleno told me to drop dead because she was 1 1/2 year away from getting her degree. She was going to put her education first.

Don't get me wrong, the kid worshiped me, but I was a baker making $11 bucks an hour, if she married me, her funding would have been cut and she would have had to drop out.

Against the advise of my Born Again friends, I moved in with her and lived in sin.

Eventually she graduated from a private school, had a degree and began a career where she helps people who are afflicted (and many times dieing) with cancer.

So one day the phone rings, and Sue McGleno picked it up. Sue McGleno doesn't jerk around over the phone, if you ever call her, it doesn't matter what the topic is. You get 30-40 seconds and that's it. no exceptions!

Well almost never........

On this occasion I noticed that she went past her allotted time so I went to investigate. Her eyes seemed kinda glazed over, and on her mouth was smirking in a nervous fashion.

After she hung up, like the cat...I was prepared to face death, because I too was curious.

"Sue McGleno, what the - what the, who where you talking to?"

Now she starts laughing and tells me her former social worker called her because they wanted her to do the government a favor and go to the state capitol on Thursday. I guess that Congress was meeting and hashing over funding for programs, and they were moderating a panel at our Capitol and sending it via satellite to all the Big Wigs in the Senate who were lounging in D.C.

They picked my girlio because she was what public programs were set up for. She was a poster child, a success story. originally she needed assistance, received it, then took those tools and made something out of herself.

Her case worker was ecstatic, maybe so much so, that she forgot to brief Sue McGleno as to what the premise of her dialogue should be LOL.

Klecko doesn't like to be a kill joy, but I felt it was prudent to grasp my love interests hand and walk her down memory lane.......

"Baby Doll, Papa doesn't want to rain on your parade, but this is kinda a big deal. the Capitol is gonna be packed and "Suits" across the globe will be listening to you."

Now I pause because I wasn't sure if I wanted to return to the "Car Wreck" of and incident that we endured together....

"Remember when you gave that speech at the Minnesota State Fair, and you froze? Kid...on the bus ride home you said you couldn't remember a single moment, and that was just dealing with the 7 stages of processing sugar throughout your body. This is Abe Lincoln-Ronald Reagan stuff."

Sue McGleno copped a pissed off look....

"I can do this, either support me, or keep your mouth shut!"

Whoa.....I dig feisty birds!

So, the big day comes and all the greasy politicians are sliding across the floor. Each one of them seemed to have a separate agenda. Backs were being slapped, hands were being shook,I even imagine palms were being greased in shady backrooms....but nobody took the time to brief the days featured guest, the topics expert, that's right, Sue McGleno sat stage left, alone.

So the program starts, lights are flashing with a Hollywood brightness. The moderator was a older than middle aged guy who tried to be somewhere between professional and intriguing.

Dude seemed so pressed to make sure that his clever monologue came across as funny and impromptu, that he forgot focus on the topic at hand. At this point, Sue McGleno still doesn't have a clue as to whether she was supposed to have a rehearsed speech, what the specific topic(s) will be or if she is going to simply answer questions.

Fun time is over, and eyes across the Nation are all staring at my girlfriend. The Emcee walks over and says something to the effect of.......

"Young women, single mothers, ladies from across this great land of ours, many of whom are hoping, dreaming, longing for a way to simply set a foundation underneath themselves so they can succeed.These woman desire to move onward and upward,but often times this won't happen because we don't prioritize their needs, we don't provide the tools that are essential. We don't provide adequate funding."

Now the guy stops and looked upwards, I'm not kidding you, just like the TV preachers. he gives a little pause, wipes his brow as if he's been breaking rocks for 1/2 a day and continues.

"Today.....we're going to talk to a woman who is going to share with us some life experiences where monetary gain or triumph wasn't even a consideration. Survival......survival was all that this woman had to focus on. My most esteemed colleagues, members of the Senate, won't you please just share a few moments listening to a woman's view that doesn't just represent herself, but thousands of woman battling similar circumstances in your neighborhood and mine?"

So without any further ado the guy brings Sue McGleno out, mispronounces her name and then starts in on a series of questions.

"Sue, thanks so much for coming out today to bring a perspective that needs to be heard by our Congress.It's been reported that you have allied with government programs to help you obtain new opportunities."

Sue McGleno stares at the crowd and tossed out a spartan response......


The moderator doesn't seem too upset by the short reply, it's just gonna give him extra camera time.

"Tell us Sue, a young woman on her own, it must be hard to get by on the meager allotment that you are given.'

Sue McGleno laughed, but it didn't come across as a "I'm laughing because I am nervous laugh"

"No, it wasn't that hard. In fact I just want to say thank you to all of you who have been proactive in setting up these programs. I lived in a spacious building in a nice neighborhood, there was always more than enough food provided from the food stamps I received."

The moderator with the most froze, you could see it in his eyes that it just occurred to him that he now realized that he never took the time to brief his guest that the objective of today's program was to raise additional money for women and or single mother programs.

So now this slick Willie has the bright idea that the best way to adjust the flow of this program is by shoving words into Sue McGleno's mouth. I could have told him where that was going to get him.

"Oh are far to modest." wink-wink nod-nod " I know that you had to cut corners. I knew that the quality of your journey could have been enhanced had the..."

Sue McGleno broke in....

"No, that's not true! I am so thankful. I was well taken care of,and I will thank you to not tell me what I was thinking. You don't know me, you didn't even talk to me until this program started."

Every woman in the auditorium laughed and/or applauded, most of the dudes thought it was funny too.

So the host realizes that he was torched and decided to cut his losses, so while placing his hand on Sue McGleno's shoulder, the guy starts thanking her as he begins pulling her towards the stage exit.

Typically if you "F" with my woman, I'll destroy you, but I soooo knew where this was going, I just sat back and laughed as Sue McGleno flipped around and did a ninja move dealio and forcefully "brushed" this guys hands off of her.

At this point she realized that her views were not jiving with those of her hosts, but she didn't like that the guy tried to use force to shove her off the stage, and remember all of the Senate is watching the mother of my children throughout this whole episode LOL.

Sue McGleno later on would tell me that she didn't know what to do at the point because she realized she wasn't going to be asked anything else, but it didn't matter who this guy was,Our goverment, your tax dollars, they were more than enough, and they changed her life! She would leave on her terms not his. So now just to spite the guy, Sue McGleno walks back to the microphone, the guy doesn't dare stop her after almost having his hand broken, and my favorite hero carefully leaned into the mike, but instead of talking, or saying thank you.....Sue McGleno flashed the hugest smile you ever saw.

Then she left.

Everybody clapped really hard.

Klecko is married to an American patriot.

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